Category : Articles

Sub Category : relationships

If i could say anything that would lend a hand to the awareness of my growth, I would say... I feel way less jaded by circumstances now. 
I’m not stuck anywhere. 
I’m not washing windows looking out at a world with whom, I’m desperately deprived of connection between.   
And that break. -it happened so slowly. yet, so suddenly became recognizable. as I waned from the small angst and the blaring inexperience of youth.     
learning new things.    seeing things. Helped.
It was perspective. Completely.

Though quite literally, i might be the lowest I’ve ever been. To me, now is only a joke of cosmic proportions. Digestible, even.  A while ago, I would’ve cowered in sheer incapacity to deal.  

In meth-head city, serving the seedy side after hours of a town blasted by the reverberated aftermath of a once flourishing music scene...the stench of “what could’ve been”. Now it’s leeches, suckling the center to stay alive.
I never thought I’d learn so much here. 
What a higher power is. How many choices I have about my beliefs. The multiplicity in what I can choose to believe. The possibilities in what I already am. A being, of sorts. As simple as the way I tie my shoes and what rag to use on my face. Every little thing revolutionized on the lended hand of slow moving. And time.

I can go anywhere. 
Before,  I think I was afraid, subconsciously. And at the same time I revved my engine hard enough til I bout exploded. Every day. I think I was afraid and I just didn’t know. Afraid of what it was like to be truly alone. I’m not. I more was then than I am now. I’m sure.
I was timid, yet yearning for experience. 
And soon you learn life is inevitable. Movement is unavoidable. Change is constant.
No matter where you are..you’re there for a moment. And then you’re gone. 
Walk so lightly on life’s sand, I would say 
And one day it’ll be my turn to be alone again.