Category : Articles
Sub Category : Lifestyle
Once upon a time in China, a man put some leaves in boiling water and called it a drink. It's hard to say if he should be put in an asylum or honoured forever, but I believe tea should get the recognition it deserves.
Camomile, green, english breakfast or peppermint? There's a tea for everyone and anyone who says they don't like any kind of tea, is wrong. They either made the tea wrong, have never even tried tea or are an alien species set to come to Earth and steal our tea to take it to their own colonies on their own planets. You may wonder why an alien trying to steal our tea would claim not to like tea, and to you I say OPEN YOUR EYES! They're clearly trying to divert us so that they're the last suspects when we face the great tea shortage which will inevitably spiral into chaos. Just imagine how the Brits will react! Anyway, aliens are clearly being sent by their alien overlords to harvest our tea because they have been denied the gift of tea leaves growing on their own planet by the tea gods. And who can blame them?
If you have come to read this because you are a fellow tea lover; welcome! It's good to know there are still some cultured people out there. How much do you wanna bet that all these politicians are only such, with lack of a better term, "stuck up d*ck heads" because it's been far too long since they sat down to a cuppa? Tea can solve all the world's problems I'm calling it now. Picture this, all the world's leaders sitting around a coffee table playing cards, having a little tea party in their dressing gowns until they are calm enough to just agree to world peace. It's fool proof!
As for those of you who have never tried tea, I'm sorry but we can't be friends. That's a lie my best friend has never tried tea before but I'm dedicating my life to changing that fact! Tea is warm. Enough said. Why would anyone voluntarily chose not to drink something that calms you down, warms you up and depending on the kind, can be good for you too!?? Forget your five a day, drink five cups of tea instead. (Drink your tea kids)
I would go on for longer about why tea is so great but my current cup of tea has just ran out so I no longer feel in the mood. In conclusion, aliens are stealing our tea, tea can solve all the world's problems and tea makes you live forever. How might one identify these aliens you ask? Simple. When they do drink tea, it's decaff. I call to all my fellow tea lovers out there! Save your family, save your country, save the world! Spread tea love. Drink tea. Don't die.
It's good advice I swear.