Category : Blogs
Sub Category : Spirituality
Numerous people have told me I am “wise beyond my years,” and I was born in the wrong decade; I don’t think so. We live in the age of instant access, instant gratification, which is what I’m about. I mindlessly self-indulge things that work instantly. They made the syringe for me. Let’s say I was born in another decade, like the 60s, I’d still be a junky then with a love for the needle.
I dig a needle into my skin multiple times a day. When I can’t find a working vein, I’ll stab myself a hundred times till I find the right spot. This can take hours. What's so fucking wise about that?
When you use a drug intravenously, it’s plunged straight into your bloodstream, giving you all of its effect; how you’re supposed to feel. After that, smoking, snorting, and ingesting any drug — cocaine, crack, meth, and some pills — becomes pointless and a waste. Except the time I snorted lines of ketamine while tripping on acid and ecstasy. I would do that again.
I had gotten to where I wanted to shoot up everything I could, and now I have, just about. But deep down, past my addicted self, lies my child-like soul that cries every time a needle breaks the skin, who regrets the day I had been curious enough to try it. But at this moment, my soul is an apathetic stranger who avoids me when we pass each other on the street.
I am forever under the influence of a mind-altering substance. Possessed.
I had come up with a theory while being dope sick. When you're sick, all your senses become heightened while your mind goes insane. It will come up with some crazy thoughts to keep your focus off the constant pain and nausea. I made up a theory I convinced myself was fact. It still entertains me, but then again, we don't know shit about this world. This should be obvious considering we only use a tiny fraction of our brains. There are things happening around us all the time that we can't see. If we figured out how to use more of our brain, we would be able to pick up different vibrations and frequencies. We could see the supernatural.
My theory is that all mind-altering substances have a supernatural influence on you, when consumed. However, not all alcohol and drugs have a malevolent effect. The essence or spirit residing in each is affected by your subconscious. If under a lot of stress, it could manifest in a negative way. It will own you, taking over your body and mind, keeping you going while you blackout. Why do you think they call alcohol 'spirits?' However, drugs have a more sinister specter, a demon, if you will. They will always lure you in with the effects of the drug, but then it shows you the dark side of it. Hell.