Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I'm calm 
I'm quiet 
I'm patient 
That's me 
It's who I am
It's what they expect 
Right? 
That's what they want me to be
so how come I feel trapped 
Why do I want just a day to feel normal
I thought I was ok?
Why do I want
a day where I'm not bottling everything up
A day when I don't push things away because I know if I don't, I'll cry 
A day where I'm not terrified of making my Step-Dad upset 
Because I can't stop thinking of my stupid father 
A day where I'm not terrified I'll never get to talk to my father 
A day where I'm not biting my tongue, or when I'm not scared to make comebacks
A day where I'm not breathing and concentrating every second because 
I know my parents depend on me 
A day I don't stay up late just sitting there listening to music 
Because it's peaceful 
a day where I don't take my sister's rude comments about me 
That she thinks I don't hear
A day where I can do something without feeling judged by my entire family
A day where I'm not regretting every single day 
thinking I should've done this differently 
I shouldn't have done this 
I should have done this 
A day where my worries don't outweigh everything else 
A day where I'm not worried for my sister 
Just a day 
To be normal 
A day where I can just 
Breath 
Why? 
Why does that day intrigue me? 
When I thought I was doing ok?