Category : Stories
Sub Category : Drama
I was 18, hungry for someone to love, someone to hold, someone to call my own.
I found Him, his name was Callum. He always wore a hat, because he hated the shape of his head. But I loved It, I loved it because I loved him .
We went to the same college, i never met him but we had the same friends, it was summer time 2007. He sent me a friend request on facevook, I accepted because I recognised him from my friends photos. We started talking, on and off because life would end up getting in the way.
In February 2008, I got a message off of him telling me he has a job in my village. I had to meet him, he started his shift at 10am, so I walked to the shop. He was there, he blushed and smiled at me, I heard his voice for the first time.
It felt like in the movies where everything stops, zooms in on the face with music playing. From that moment my life changed forever.
We talked every day, in March we became a couple. He told me he was going to be a dad to his ex girlfriends child, it didn't put me off because I though I loved him.
We went out together every day. Over messages he started to get mean, and hurtful. He told me when he was 16 one of his other ex's was kicked out of her house so she lived with Him, he would beat her until She would cry. I should have left him then. But yet again, because I loved him. I didn't.
At the end of March, I sprained my ankle, he got mad at me because I wasn't messaging him back when I was in the hospital getting it checked out. He would get mad alot, but he never really showed it in person until the end of April.
At the beginning of April, I went down south to see my grandparents, I was there for a week, my ankle had been sprained for 2 days, so being on crutches, carrying 2 heavy bags on 3 different trains was a task and a half. The whole journey took about 6 hours, so clearly my phone was going to die. When I got to my grandmas house I put my phone straight on charge to tell my mom I got there safely.
My phone didn't stop buzzing, I had so many missed calls and texts off of Callum, He was mad because I left him alone up north. He was pissed because I went to see my family.
On the Wednesday I was out shopping with my grandma, he wouldn't stop calling me, I told him I was busy and if ring him back later. But he wouldn't stop, I put my phone on silent so I could have a nice time shopping.
He was sending me messages calling me a bitch, that I should pick up the fucking phone, that I didn't love him. That I was worthless and he didn't need me but I needed him. I showed my gran the messages, is never heard her call someone a cunt before. She didn't like Callum at all! He broke up with my that night because I didn't reply. Because I didn't show him that o loved him.
I cried because I did love Him, I did feel like I needed him. I blocked his number until the Sunday when I was on my way home. He called me, saying why didn't I reply to him. All I could think of saying was that I was busy and wanted to spend time with my family as I never get to see them anymore.
We met up the next day and It was like we were back together. He was still awful over texts, but nice in person.
A few days after I came back, I thought I really want to get back together with Him, I love him and I need him to stay. We slept together for the first time, after he said for the millionth time, I'm finding it really hard not having sex. I wasn't a virgin but I wanted to wait for the next person, I wanted to make sure I had feelings for them. And for him I did, I really did. From that moment we had sex near enough every day.
He would still send me awful messages, I would never make a good mom, that I should die, we should never have gotten back together.
At the end of May I moved in with Him, (3 towns over) I love camping so we went camping on the 4th night. We are teens so we thought it would be fun to drink as well. When drunk I'd told him about being pregnant. That i had 3 positive tests, then alot of blood. That I miscarried our baby.
He got really and at me because I didn't tell him about all of the tests, I only told him about one. But I didn't want to get his hopes up like I had mine.
We got back to his place, we had a nap on his bed. When I woke up he was on his computer, he was always on that damn thing. Every night he would go threw my phone, but I was never allowed on his. He started chocking me every time something went wrong in his life.
He beat me when I told him I needed a cigarette, he told me i was selfish. I would have to look at the ground when out walking with him other wise I would get accused of looking at another male and wanting to have sex with him.
He had never been to an arcade before, all I wanted to do was make him happy, I though if I made him happy he wouldn't want to hurt me. He loved It, I paid for everything we went to the beach, had ice cream. It was a really nice day. On our way home we saw an abandoned building. We looked at eachother and said we had to go there! We went to the shops to buy some things to take with us, like a flash light, and snacks.
It was hard getting into the building, we had to crawl under apart of the wall which was crumbling away. On the inside of the house, It looked like it was left in the 60s to early 70s, the wallpaper was curling, the light switches looked like they were from the 20s.
On our walk home he dropped his keys somewhere, He made me hide behind a wall in case anyone came past, (it was around 3am at this point) someone drove behind me and Parked. I messaged him to hurry up because I was getting scared. He ran back after he found the keys, I told me he never wanted to let me go again.
He seemed so scared... But nothing had actually happened. Over the next few weeks he continued to beat and choke me.
06/16/08 we had camped the night out, We forgot our blinkets so we were frozen. I wanted to check my phone for what time it was, but it wasn't were I had left it. He had it again, he wasn't giving it back to me. So I took his phone. He put his arm around my neck and started bashing in my head with his, he didn't stop until we both heard a crack. He then wanted to give me a hug as if to say it's ok.
I though that was the final straw. I don't deserve to be hurt like this, all I ever did was the to make him happy. I did everything he wanted me to do. I called my mom and asked her to pick me up, she took me to the police station, then we went back to hers. A few days later I saw Callum whilst I was at work. My head was all over the place, I couldn't think properly.
It was like my mind went from happy to terrified, when I got off my shift I went to a tattoo studio, I booked in a tattoo for the week after. Then bought vodka, and pain killers.
I woke up in hospital after I OD, My blood alcohol lever was in the 2000s, My heart rate was getting checked every hour. It was 130bpm the first time I saw it. I had flat lined, had my brain scanned, to see if I had any bleeding on the brain from when my Ex beat me.
I almost died because I panicked when I saw him. I might have died if I stayed with him. He made my life a living hell when I was with Him, emotional black mail. Using me for my money, physical abuse. Mental abuse. He wasn't worth my mental health being torn to shreds. When I left him I missed him. Now I'm glad I did the right thing. I saved my life, and now I'm So much happier.