Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Hope it makes sense. 


I’m still very much having lots of trouble writing. Much of what I write doesn’t make sense. I’m trying to get out of it though so I’m forcing myself to sit and write. 


————


And so I screamed. “Is that a solution?”
Is any of this a solution? 
It can’t fix it! 
It can’t repair what has been broken
You can take the pain from my heart
But I’ll still drift into my saddened memories 
The heartbreaking, heartbroken results they lead
Is anything a solution
When dealing with the sad tormentor of my dreams
When all I’ll get is suffering, suffering, and more suffering 
When all this solution brought 
Was trials of sorrow 
Directing my mind to my saddened memories
What will this solution entail
Will I prove to prevail 
Or am I doomed to fail


I’m at a loss of what to do
What if I’m wrong 
What If all it does
Is let go of the rope that’s 
Sustaining me in my saddened memories
What if 
What if I’m just fighting fire with Fire 
What if my solution doesn’t work
So many what ifs 
What if my solution is wrong? 


I can’t stay here
In my saddened memories 
It’s just resulting in a stream of tears to flow
I’m stuck adrift in my saddened memories
Being ruled by my sad tormentor of dreams 
Stuck on a path still unknown 


My solution 
What will it entail 
What will I have to do?
To make sure it works 
You’ve already taken my dreams 
My memories 
and my heart 
How much more can I give? 
How will this solution work?
If in order to get rid of you
I’ll have to get rid of myself too? 


A whisper running through my head
Turn back!
Turn back!
You will fail!
He will prevail! 


No! 
No! 
It’s gonna work 
It has to work 
I’ll prove it 
My solution It will work 
I will prevail 
You’ll see 
I can escape this prison 
I’ll no longer be held captive in my own mind 
I’ll no longer be stuck within my memories 
You can no longer control me 
Your powers they are powerless against me


I will prevail! 
I will not fail!


You will no longer be the sad tormentor of my saddened memories 


I promise
I promised them 
I promised her
I promised myself 
I’d be okay 
No matter what it entailed 
I promised her
I wouldn’t break 
When my solution failed 


How could I have broken her promise so easily 
How could I have broken my promise
I promised I’d be okay
I said this would help me
To escape my saddened memories 


But even after the mind games
The late night cries 
And all the what if’s 
All I’m left with is broken promises


And saddened memories 


—————-