Found Myself Read Count : 8

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I still remember after all troubles and ended up with an relationships , I was sitting at the doctors office and she asked me many inaudible of questions. She left the room and came back with a piece of paper in her hand and she said,” Rajeev, you are clinically depressed and I need to give you this prescription.” I looked at the piece of paper and it said,” Rajeev William Silvious Prozac”. 


I didn’t see that level of sad coming. I think once sad comes you don’t know it’s coming. One little circumstance,another circumstance,another missed moment where you couldn’t able to speak your mind, some moment when you don’t realise what’s on your heart, some moment when you say ‘Yes’, and you really wanted to say ‘NO’. And here I was in doctor office and clinically depressed. I asked my doctor, could I do something before I fill the prescriptions? Could I try something else? Because when she said to me what I’ve realised was that I had just forgot who I was, that I have become now, is this me ? That’s why I asked her, “ Can I have 30 days to just discover me again?”


And I did few things, one I put affirmation all around my room, reminding me who I was. “ you are an unrepeatable miracle, You are amazing in your own right, you deserve healthy love & life, you are a child of God.” Everywhere I could look in my room was a posted note reminding me of who I was. I read words that showed me my birth right. And then everyday I got in the mirror and I completed three sentences. I looked in my eyes and said ‘Rajeev I m proud of you and I found many things to celebrate Rajeev for. Most important sentence was” I forgive you” I found few things to cut shackles of blame, shame, guilt , anger and regret around, and I said Rajeev ,” I commit to you that.” And I made few different commitments to myself every day for 30 days. When I went back to the doctor, I was completely ready to take the prescription and fill it if I needed to. I shared with her everything what I have done in 30 days. She asked me questions, questions after questions however in the end she goes and asked me two questions, what have you been doing for last 30 days and can I use it with my other patients? Cause I have found my way back to me....!!!

Comments

  • Jan 10, 2019

  • Another depressed, lost soul. Welcome to the club

    Jan 10, 2019

  • Beautiful and strong.

    Jan 10, 2019

  • Zee Zulu

    Zee Zulu

    Congrats on finding yourself again, Rajeev! And thank you for sharing your story.

    Jan 10, 2019

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