Category : Blogs
Sub Category : Miscellaneous
Imagine that you are a senior in high school. Your grades aren't good or bad, you don't have a license yet, you have a loving SO, you have a good group of friends, you are playing cello and getting pretty good at it, and your art class was your favorite way to spend Wednesdays.Your plans for college are in the works and you are excited to start your life's newest chapter.
Its the last grading period. You start to feel different, like something in your body has changed. That ham and cheese omelet that you eat for breakfast on the way to school every morning isn't the same as before. You can't focus on your school work or your hobbies anymore. You know something is wrong. Little do you realize that there's someone getting cozy in your body.
Teen pregnancy was the last thing on ny mind for me. While others might have laughed and said "I'm not surprised", it sure was a shock for me. What was my first initial thought? Abortion.
Maybe life could end just as quickly as it was started. After all, it was just the amniotic sac with a little dot in it. It wasn't alive to me because there was no heartbeat on my first ultrasound. But a week later, that changed.
Many people go through with abortions every year. Medical procedures to cinnamon, there's many ways to get rid of your so called "mistake". Sadly, abortion was the leading cause of death in 2018 next to smoking and HIV/AIDS. Trust me, I did some intense Google searches during my first and last weeks of pregnancy. The internet can be your best or worst friend in a time like this.
We were scared. I was a drug addict since I was 15. Getting drunk and popping pills and smoking some doobies were my main priorities. Maybe premiscuous sex should have given me the idea about pregnancy at one point but it never crossed my mind until it was too late. Even after the fact, I still smoked cigarrettes and drank. I just didn't care. It was too good to be true. I didn't have a baby belly so it must've been just a bad dream that made me throw up every morning.
Somehow, at my high school, people started talking. Now this school is private and very Christian based with some strict views and rules. I was obviously talked to and was told that I couldn't walk at my graduation. My first OBGYN appointment, I sat in the exam room crying my eyes out to a nurse. My dream to walk and have my diploma handed to me was about to be crushed. What was I to do? I lied my way up on the stage by hiding the fact I was pregnant. I guess you could say that irony kicked in when I felt my baby kick for the first time while up on that stage.
Later, graduation night , my friends and my boyfriend celebrated with a frosty and a walk in the park. My boyfriend and I got engaged that night.
Soon, July hit and my 18th birthday was celebrated. My baby belly was showing by this time.
Now, finding a wedding dress while very pregnant and swollen was hard, but I managed to find one that fit me and my baby perfectly.
August 11th, I married the love of my life. We had a good wedding, a great cake, and an amazing after party with our two friends who were in the wedding as bridesmaid and groomsman. I felt amazing.
For our honeymoon, we stayed at Orange Beach, Alabama. There was a pool at the hotel and swimming relieved a lot of stress and pain off of my body. It felt incredible. I was able to relax for once. At this time I was six months pregnant, it was getting closer and closer to time.
Sadly, something happened that cut our honeymoon trip short.
I was laying on the couch in our hotel room and I began seizing. We left and went back home.
One day I was taking a nap and stopped breathing. My husband rushed me to OB triage and I suddenly lost all of my skills. I couldn't move or talk. I was on an exam table while doctors stuck me with needles and checked my cervix and baby to make sure he was okay. It was traumatizing. A catheter was put in and they gave me a magnesium drip and other fluids. I was miserable. They found that I had protein in my urine which lead them to believe I had preeclampsia.
(Preeclampsia is a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure and signs of damage to another organ system, most often the liver and kidneys. Preeclampsia usually begins after 20 weeks of pregnancy in women whose blood pressure had been normal.)
Baby was in danger and so was I. My doctor decided to set the date to induce labor. Eight weeks had passed after my hospital stay and I was getting prepared to have my baby. It felt so unreal and scary.
I went in on October 22nd and started the process. However, my baby was not responding well to the medications. His heart beat got slower occasionally, so the main inducing medicine was held off.
Epidural is a life saver, yes. But epidural is PAINFUL to get. The only time in the birthing process that I screamed was when the epidural was being placed in. I had my head buried into a nurse's arm while the other asked me questions about my life. Honestly, that wasn't the best time to try to get to know me. Soon, the pain didn't seem to matter, I didn't feel a thing. I was wearing my baggy sweatpants of numbness.
October 23rd, my baby was born. He was 5lbs and 11oz. I was so numb and in shock that I cried but no tears could come out.
When they handed me my little boy, I had no idea what to do. My first initial thought was "What the heck do I do with this thing?". He was so precious and he was wide awake too. I fell in love, but not in the way I thought I would.
Pregnancy is a painful experience. Constipation, food cravings, weight gain, anxiety, sacrifices, and prenatal depression all played a factor in my nine months with him. People told me that it would be a beautiful thing but it was far from it up until I looked into his big eyes.
His name is Jude, a bible name and also a great hit "Hey Jude" by The Beatles.
Now he is almost three months old. He can hold his head up pretty well and smile at you. Today, I understand what real love feels like. All of the pain and trauma was worth it just to bring my little Jude into this world. He shouldn't have made it and neither should I but we did it together. He is my best friend. Out of a not so ideal situation came something beautiful.
He is, and always will be, my miracle baby.