Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I thought everything would be fine when I went back. By God was I wrong. You see, some things create us. Some things ruin us and I cannot even begin to understand why. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to turn and I'm somewhat used to it by now. I'm just not used to being used to it-the emotional agony depriving me from what I love to do and it's all caused by one person. I cannot name them but when I think about what they do to me it hurts me. It hurts when my fear and pain clamp together. It hurts me when I smile instead of cry. It hurts me when the laughter at my pain is existent in the slightest and treated inevitably. I just want it to stop, but it won't and sometimes think of ending it all. Everything. Everything I have worked for. Everything I have, done and love for the sake of peace and quiet! That hurts- like a thousand knives pricking you along the spine. Weirdly enough my laughter does not help. It hurts me. At this point I don't know what to do, all because of my hurt and it does nothing else but hurt me.