Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

   When I was a boy, I was picked on a lot by bullies and even today some members of my family treat me badly. The only difference is my courage, is born in life like a burning passion. When I was younger, I was scared of standing up to people and would often back down from any kind of fight. When I got into High School, there was a boy that used to pick on me on a regular basis. I lost my temper one day, and before I knew I had my hands around his neck slamming him against the lockers. I didn't realize it at the time, but I had exploded in rage and he was left defenseless. I had been finally pushed to my limits, and he reaped the benefit of my rage. Blood was dripping down his face.
   I was not punished for this, for two reasons. One I was physically handicapped, and it was surprising those around me of what I done. Second, many of the four classman vouched for me about the altercation. With the exception of one order classmate, none of them take on me afterwards. I wonder if it was a big deal to them? Strangely enough, I changed in a negative way. I was filled with hatred for a long time before my friends found a way to get me under control. Even some of my closest friends were scared of me, then never seen them look in my eye that had never been there. I wondered where my current should come from stand up, was it just that I had enough?
   After that altercation, I stood up for myself when I felt I needed to. I had sworn to myself not to fight, unless it was absolutely necessary. I still trying to avoid conflict, but I'm not afraid to stand up for myself now. I think about that lost frightened boy I used to be, and then I wonder now if he had had that courage, would things be different for me now? I should count myself lucky, I wasn't expelled because of the changes in the school rules. Only one teacher spoke to me about the incident, and all he said was, "You carry your emotions like a sword. That strength can be good or bad depending how you hone it." After that, no one really spoke of the incident again, except a couple of years later. There was a kid, I wanted to challenge me to a fight for some crazy reason. My friend, asked him if he wanted to wind up in the hospital. I never heard anything from that kid again. I'm not sure if he meant I was going to put them in the hospital, or he was going to put them in the hospital? I used to be such a scared little boy, I wonder what inside me changed me into what I am today.