Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Self Help

I'm not really sure what this is if this is a poem or if it's just a random rant because I tend to do that a lot when I write. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately some dark things some good things some of everything. In a more vague summarization I've been thinking about the world for even more vague summarization I've been thinking about the universe. I'm not sure why I'm giving vague examples because the thoughts I'm thinking aren't vague they're quite complex. I keep hopping from one idea to the next I can't keep my brain organized everything is just floating around like the galaxies in outer space. I'm thinking about my life in depth I'm taking about everyone's life in depth I'm thinking about life and death on some serious levels of complexity. I'm starting to think maybe it's not complexity and maybe it's just my Insanity that makes my thoughts seem confusing if you're reading this and you're already confused it just gets more difficult to understand. I keep thinking about what happens when we die and how I want to go out. I'm not sure if I want to be cremated or buried only 14 but I'm already thinking about the pros and cons within my final resting place. If I get buried then bugs will eat me up but I will be beside my family if I'm cremated then I will be burned and before that happens there's a 50-50 percent chance of someone stealing my organs without my consent but if my ashes get dumped in the ocean I will be free. I haven't even gotten on to what I think about my ghost and spirit will be what will happen to me. I believe in God but the more more things I learned about the world the more and more I get confused but I still have faith in him so I still pray. Sometimes I question if there are other dimensions. Oh and did I mention sometimes I see shadows in the corner of my eye. there's a chance that 30% of you were thinking that it's just all in my head and sometimes I think that too but sometimes it feels so real I think I just saw the undead. Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched and I can feel my heart rate rise steadily beating faster and faster but I look around and no one is there oh but what's this another Shadow I see in the corner of my eye. I'm not sure if I'm just paranoid or if it's something else. The world can be so confusing sometimes it's hard to understand what's real. My family can be so fake sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between blood and water. My imagination can be so complex that is hard to tell if it's a dream or if it's reality. Again I'm not sure if it's complex or if it's my own insanity maybe I'm just thinking too hard but what if I'm not thinking enough. It's always one thing or the other it's not an exact thing. It's always something versus something. Believers against non-believers, water versus fire, our Nation against other nations. It has become apparent to me that life is a Battlefield everything's fighting each other. it might sound dramatic but in a way I believe it's true. Everyone's fighting for life. Everyone's fighting for their own beliefs. It makes me wonder do we really have peace. It seems to me like never cease. all these battles are part of one battle that can be vaguely summarized as life.