Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

How do you go from follower to leader overnight? 

From what I heard it’s not possible.

But it’s what my Dad wants, 

Whenever my parents leave the house im put in charge because I’m the oldest.

I’m a follower though and he says that affects how I babysit, 

He says that I need to become a leader, and that being a follower isn’t okay. 

He said leaders can make the quick decisions, and that they can make the tough calls. 

Me I spend 30 minutes deciding whether something worth saying, I spend even longer wondering whether my decision will negatively affect someone, whether my decision is wrong or right. I’m not a leader never have been. I often have inner battles with myself between whether something okay to say. I often spend my time replaying conversations I had with people in my head, or looking around me taking in important identifiable things in the area. 

I’m quiet by nature as well. My biological father is the same way. I don’t like to yell unless it’s necessary. 

I don't normally have a problem with my siblings and when I do I'm usually yelling. 

I just don't know how to go from being a follower for 16 years to being a leader for three kids overnight.