Category : Blogs
Sub Category : Miscellaneous
It's so hard. This feeling is so unbearable and I just don't want to do this anymore. I can't tell what's worse, house or school. I don't belong anywhere I go. No one understands me nor do they care. And I'm sick of caring too. Caring about school, caring about what happens to myself, caring about others. I'm sick of doing things for others. I'm sick of having to pretend to smile, to pretend to be happy. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of all of it why do I have to do things for others? What about me. Don't I matter. I guess I don't. I feel guilty for all those people who die everyday. They had things to live for. I don't but I'm still here. I don't want to do it anymore. Everything feels so useless and meaningless. I just can't find a way out of any of it. I've tried for so long. All on my own. With no one. Just me.
Everyone wrongly accuses me. I don't have anyone no matter where I escape. I dread having to go to school. I dread t have to go home. Everyone at school ignores me. Everyone else is happy and smiling. That's not fair. Why can't I smile and Be happy. My brother is cared for. So why am I ignored. I don't understand anything anymore. I just want to scream everything out. Everyone is so blivius to everything around me and everything that happens. Everything that I do seems so little and it will always be. I'm always being told that I'm ding the wrong thing but never told what the right thing is. No one congratulates me for walking or breathing like they do to children. People expect me to be perfect and I'm always letting them down. No one ever tells me I'm doing anything right. I'm sick and tired of it. All of it.
I'm sorry for wasting anyones time with this. I feel so lost and don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have anyone to tell. I don't have any way of letting everything out except writing it down. I'm sorry about you having to read it. I feel hopeless and don't know what to do about it.