Category : Notes/work

Sub Category : N/A

(These are NOT!!! real life quotes that have been recorded of writers. This is intended for comedy, if you are easily offended you shouldn't be on this page. Read at your own discretion, I will not take responsibility for any injuries you may obtain from laughter.)


    "Oh my browser history looks kinda strange officer, that's because I'm a writer."

   "Most writers, only spend a small percentage of their time writing. What the heck do they do the rest of their time?"

   "When it comes to writing, you're only as good as you think you are. And if it so happens your audience doesn't like what your writing, just tell them to shove it."

   "Writer's are very weird by nature, or maybe it's because the people who don't write are weird."

   "When a writer twists the facts, you know the monkeys that the mainstream media will go bananas over it."

   "The crime rate for writers as much higher, you should count the number of times they say crime in a mystery series."

   "I'm not a child molester officer, that boy tied up their is my model for inspiration."
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Suspicious Conversation

Officer- Sir, did you pick up a kid that didn't belong to you at a Dairy Queen?

Writer- Oh him, he was helping me by acting out a scene in my new play.

Officer- Did you ask his mother for permission?

Writer- Wouldn't that be kinda silly for a criminal to let the kid's his mother see his face.

Officer- Oh, I see. Did the criminal buy him a small blizzard?

Writer- Yup, he sure did!

Officer- Oh, was the boy sleepy afterward? Some witnesses says you carried him out over your shoulder after ten minutes had passed.

Writer- Must've been the pills the criminal slipped into his blizzard. Now I need a good ending.

Officer: Your under arrest.

Writer: Nah, that's lame.

Officer: (Slaps the cuffs on him.) Your under arrest for kidnapping. 

Kid- (Walks in rubbing his eyes) Hi Daddy, are you playing cops and robbers now?

Writer- Yep, isn't he nice for trying to help me come up with an ending.

Cop- Excuse me son, did you call this man daddy?

Kid- Yes sir, mom and dad's divorced so I spend the late spring and summer with him. He just picked me up today.

Officer- Did he slip something into your blizzard?

Kid- Yeah, it's a long drive and I get carsick.

Officer- (Removes Handcuffs) Sorry sir, I made a mistake.

Writer- Hey arresting the wrong guy, great idea!

Officer- (Leaves Dumbfounded)
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