Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

After four months of working seventy plus hours per week I'm finally getting the rest I need and caught up with the life I once had. Slowly but surely. 
 
Nearly seven months have passed by since my life was shaken and turned upside down. Once again, I lost everything that was meaningful to me - my house, my family and shortly after that, I became lost. I lost interest in the things I once enjoyed and then I'm pretty sure I lost my damn mind. That's when I realized I needed to come up with a strategy to fill in that painful void. That void felt like someone was throwing salt into an open wound inside my soul...a wound that was so deeply infected that time could not heal nor serve any justice to. 

For the next three months I weeped myself to sleep at night. I weeped in the morning after awakening. I weeped when I heard my sons voice, when I couldn't hear my sons voice, and if I was out and about and seen a mother walking hand in hand with her own son...well I just weeped and if anyone recognized my tears flooding and falling from my eyes, that was okay too. It did not bother me in the least bit, nor did the  streaks of black mascara streaming down my cheeks. Why would it? 

Then I was offered this full time job that required long hours. They wouldn't have to ask me twice and before I knew it I was on the clock more in a days time than I wasn't. When I wasn't pounding in those hours at Kiva Han I was capturing as much sleep as time allowed. 

Seven months later, my life is far from perfect and I'm no where near where I need to be but at the end of the day, I'm okay. I see my son and our relationship is wonderful. He is my number one reason for not giving up. Better days ahead? That's the plan and I'm sticking to it.