Category : Stories

Sub Category : YoungAdult

Part 6


Sheila woke up in a crummy mood. A quick roll to her side she saw her clock on her bedside table. 7:00am. She groaned out loud. It felt like she had just gone to sleep and now she's awake again. She tried to sit up but her body wouldn't budge. She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep but her brain had other plans. She groaned again. Outside, she could hear the sounds of life - birds chirping in the trees outside her window, her neighbour yelling at her kids to hurry up to school, dogs barking, cats screeching, it was all too much for her this morning.

She lay flat on her back staring up the ceiling watching the ceiling fan go round and round. Her thoughts went back to last night's event; the second week of the "Sing Off Vaganza" competition. The Divas were given a rock number to perform, a task that made them nervous as they were not rockers. Yet, they took it and tried their best to pull it off. 

Unfortunately, their best wasn't good enough for at the end of the night, they had the lowest number of votes and were eliminated from the competition. It sucked. But the public had made their choice. She remember putting up a brave front up on stage when the results were announced. How she was fighting hard to keep the tears at bay, how she had put on a fake smile to hide her disappointment. She did the same during the press conference after the show, faking smiles for the cameras and letting Amy and Lisa do all the talking. Even though they performed as a group, she felt she had failed and after the press conference was over, in the privacy of their dressing room, she finally let her tears flow. Amy and Lisa were disappointed too but they didn't take it as badly as her. 

Last night on her drive home, her phone was beeping non-stop. WhatsApp messages trickled in like running water from family and friends telling her how sorry they are that The Divas were eliminated. It was like a slap to her face, like rubbing salt to a wound. She turned off her phone without bothering to read all the messages let alone reply them. She was thankful her mother and son were asleep when she got home as she couldn't face another "I'm sorry you got eliminated" speech. 

In her weary state she unplugged her phone from the charger. She thought of Noah. Maybe he watched the show last night and know that she's feeling down and maybe he would come through for her like he had always done before and try to cheer her up. Maybe. She was hopeful. 

She switched on her phone and the pinging sound it made seem to go on forever. There were 152 WhatsApp messages in total, all of which she scrolled through in search of Noah's name. Nothing. There were 17 missed calls, all of them from one person; Alex. She felt her eyes welling up again. She tossed her phone aside and buried her face in her pillow. She let the dam burst and she sobbed her heart out. "Where are you, Noah?" she cried, "I need you right now." She cried and cried until she fell asleep. 

It was a quarter to twelve when she finally woke up. She had missed breakfast and was feeling hungry. She jumped in the shower, got dressed and went downstairs to fix something to eat. She decided on some toast and scrambled eggs with a cup of hot chocolate. While eating, her phone rang. Checking the caller ID, she saw that it was a call from a Producer who had booked her for some celebrity cooking show. She took the call, ready to work, only to be told that she had been replaced by another celebrity, someone whom the network feels can garner better ratings. Her heart sank. Not again!

After she finished her meal, she lazed about in her living room. She checked her phone again. Scrolled through the WhatsApp messages again, slowly this time, hoping to see a message from Noah. No luck. She then went on Instagram. Maybe he had sent her a message there. Again, she was hopeful. There were new unread messages but none from him. She checked his profile. Maybe he had posted something there for her. Nothing. In fact, he hasn't posted anything for the past month. She was feeling really miserable. She wanted to speak to Noah so badly. She needed to hear his voice. She braved herself and placed a call to him. Her heart thundered in her chest as she heard the calling tone. "Please answer. Please answer," she whispered, crossing her fingers. But her call left unanswered and it went into voicemail. She ended the call without leaving a message. She was so restless she could scream. But she didn't. Instead, she ran upstairs to her room, grabbed her sunglasses, her car keys and her bag and stepped out of her house. 

Her mother was picking her son up from school today so that leaves her afternoon free. She got in her car and began driving. She needs to find Noah. But where? Noah had moved out of his apartment in Old Klang Road just before they broke up. He was temporarily staying with friends till he found a new place but that was months ago. Surely he's found a place by now. She can't call any of his friends to find out because by now she is sure they all know that she and Noah have broken up and if she knows the code between Noah and his friends, she knows that they will not supply any information to her pertaining him. She's determined to find him somehow so she started driving to places where they had frequented in hopes that she'll find him somewhere. 

Sheila has been driving around town for the past three hours in search of Noah but her effort had been fruitless. She had tried everywhere she can think of but with no luck. She was tired and hungry. She picked up her phone and called Alex. 

Alex answered on the second ring. "Where the hell have you been, woman?" he shrieked on the phone. "I've been worried sick about you!"

"Well hello to you too," Sheila said wearily. 

"Where are you, Sheila?"

"Driving around."

"Drive over to my place," Alex said. 

"I'm hungry," Sheila said, "do you have food?"

"Just come over. We'll sort that out when you get here."

With that, Sheila made a turn and headed to Ampang.

Alex's mind was racing after he spoke to Sheila. "She doesn't sound so good," he thought to himself, "maybe she's still upset about last night's elimination." 

He went to his kitchen, opened his fridge to see what he has in there. Aside from a carton of eggs, a bottle of milk, cheese, butter, ice cream, water and leftovers from last night's dinner, his fridge was pretty bare. Alex can't cook to save his life so he doesn't stock up his fridge like any normal person would do. Pre-cooked frozen food from the supermarket is as far as his level of expertise in the cooking department. He went back into the living room, grabbed his phone and made a call. After talking briefly, he ended the call, grabbed his house keys and headed out to the elevator. 

Alex crossed the street and walked about a block to a street corner where a food truck selling "chendol" and "rojak" was parked. He was glad to see there wasn't a long line of queue. He stood in line and waited for his turn to be served. He ordered two packets of chendol and then walked towards a row of shop lots nearby. 

He entered a restaurant and walked straight to the counter. He gave the cashier his name and was told his food order wasn't ready and he was asked to take a seat. He picked a nearby table and sat to wait. Ten minutes later, a waiter came to him with his food order. He took the plastic bag containing the food, walked to the counter to pay and then he hurriedly walked back to his apartment. 

Back in his apartment, he put the two packets of chendol in the freezer. He then took out the food containers from the plastic bag and placed them in the microwave. Then he went back into the living room to wait. 

Ten minutes later, his doorbell rang. His heart smiled.

"Hello sweetie," Alex said, greeting Sheila at the door. 

He stepped aside to let her in and stole a quick whiff of the scent of her perfume as she walked past him. He closed the door quickly, turned towards her and pulled her in a hug. He held her tight, loving the feel of her in his arms. If he could have his way, he would stay in that position forever but Sheila broke away from the hug. Alex felt a tad disappointed but he didn't let on about how he felt as he watched Sheila move towards the sofa. Sheila dropped her bag as well as herself on the sofa without saying a word. Alex sensed the heaviness of the mood she was in. He watched her. She was clearly upset about something. Even though he was dying to know what's upsetting her, he didn't push it. There's plenty of time for questions later, he told himself. 

"I hope you're hungry," Alex said, trying his best to sound chirpy. 

Sheila looked up at him and flashed what appeared to look like a forced smile. "I'm starving," she said. 

"Good! Just what I wanted to hear."

Alex disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Sheila to amuse herself in the living room. He took the food out of the microwave, dished out the rice in two plates, added the chicken onto each plate, he put the sliced cucumber on a small saucer and poured the spicy sambal into two small bowls. He carried the food into the dining room before going back into the kitchen. Next, he took the two packets of chendol from the freezer and poured them into two big bowls and carried them to the dining room. He also brought out two glasses and a bottle of cold water. Once everything was set on the table, he went to the living room to get Sheila.

Sheila was pleasantly surprised when she walked into the dining room and saw the food on the table. She turned towards Alex. "You got ayam penyet for me?"

Alex smiled. "I did. I had a feeling you could use this meal right now. I know ayam penyet is your comfort food," he said, "but I have to let you know this is not from your favourite restaurant. I got it from a place near here. It's the best I can do on such short notice."

Sheila smiled and gave Alex a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. She was touched by his thoughtfulness and she could feel her eyes welling up. She blinked quickly to prevent the dam from bursting. 

Alex watched Sheila closely as they ate. She didn't talk much but he could tell she was hungry. Or was she really? Could it be she's feeding her sorrow and not her stomach? He wasn't sure but he's determined to find out later after they've had their meal. For the time being, he was just happy to have her here with him. 

Sheila helped Alex with the dishes after their meal. She insisted on washing them after the trouble he had gone through to feed her. While she did the washing, Alex made two mugs of hot chocolate for them. 

It began to rain. They retired in the living room as they watched beautiful displays of crashing lightning from Alex's French window. The sky was a dark shade of grey that was almost dark as night. Rain poured relentlessly and heavily, cleansing everything on earth. Sheila sat on the sofa slowly sipping her hot chocolate, seemingly lost in thoughts. Alex watched her for a moment, not saying a word. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him. 

"So what did you do today before you came here?" Alex asked, breaking the silence. 

Sheila was startled. Her thoughts broken by Alex's question. 

"Nothing much. I was just driving around," she said vaguely. 

"Driving around?"

"Yeah."

Alex felt his frustration building up. He felt the conversation was going nowhere and that frustrates him. He wanted to know what's eating her up but her short and vague responses were not telling him anything. 

He tried again. "I watched the Sing Off last night," he said carefully, "how are you holding up?"

Sheila shrugged her shoulders and set her mug on the coffee table in front of her. "To be honest, I don't know," she said. "I would be lying if I were to say I wasn't upset at being eliminated but at the same time, we all had a feeling it was coming."

"What do you mean?"

"From the day of rehearsals, everything was going wrong. Even though we had practiced hard the entire week but somehow during rehearsal we just couldn't get it right. We were off pitch, off tempo, it was nerve-wrecking. Then last night, our stroke of bad luck continued. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. The traffic was bad, making us arrive late at the venue, we had wardrobe malfunction, hair and make up were not working out for us, and by the time we got on stage to perform, we were all a bundle of nerves."

"I'm sorry," Alex said gently. "Was that why you were driving around today, to clear your head...?"

Sheila did not respond immediately. She pulled her eyes away from Alex, picked up her mug and slowly sipped her hot chocolate. She was torn. Should she tell Alex the truth or should she lie to him? She was undecided. While she thought about it, she continued to sip her hot chocolate, keeping her eyes fixed on the coffee table. She could feel Alex watching her and she knew she had to say something. But she's still undecided on whether or not she should tell him the truth. She needed time to decide so she knew she had to find a way to stall. She drank the remainder of her hot chocolate then looked at Alex and grinned. "Can I have another round of hot chocolate, please?" she asked sweetly. 

Alex grinned back at her. "Sure," he said, taking the mug from her hand. He finished his drink and took both mugs to the kitchen. 

Sheila sighed a breath of relief when she was left alone in the living room. She knew she had to make a decision fast. 

In the kitchen, Alex's thoughts were racing as he made the second batch of hot chocolate. He was thinking of all the comforting words he would say to Sheila when she opens up to him about the sorrow she feels after the elimination last night. He had a whole inspiring speech prepared in his head with words he felt sure would pull her out of her low funk. 

Sheila's heart hammered in her chest when Alex came back to the living room with the hot chocolate. He placed the mugs on the coffee table and sat next to her on the sofa. He took Sheila's hand in his. 

"Talk to me, Sheila," he said gently. "Tell me what's really on your mind. Share it with me."

Sheila took a deep breath and looked Alex in the eye. She could see the genuine concern reflected in his eyes and that was when she decided to tell him the truth. 

"Last night, after the elimination and the press conference, I was really upset," she said quietly. "I felt like such a failure and I was really down."

"That's understandable," Alex piped in, "but you are not a failure. It's a competition. These things happen. But just because you girls were eliminated it doesn't mean you have failed. Shit happens, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, but that's not what I'm upset about."

"It's not? Then what is it?"
Sheila took a moment to respond. With her free hand, she picked up her mug and took a sip of the hot chocolate, careful not to burn her tongue. She blew on the hot beverage before she took another sip. Then she put her mug back on the table and turned to look at Alex. 

"He did not bother to get in touch with me at all," she said tearfully. 

Alex felt a tug at his heart and a sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach. 'He', Sheila had said. To Alex, 'he' could only mean one person. But just to be sure, he asked, "He? Who's he?"

"Noah," Sheila replied in a small voice.

Alex felt like his heart had been stabbed with a knife. Noah! His suspicion was right. Will he ever be able to shake that guy off, he wondered. He hates Noah with a passion. He feels that Noah is the only thing that is standing in the way of his happiness. He was pissed off. He wanted to lash out, scream. He wanted to shake Sheila to her senses. But he didn't. Instead he masked his feelings the best he can. The only consolation he had was the fact that Sheila is here right now in his apartment. She is with him, not Noah. 

"I'm sure he knows the result of last night's fate," Sheila said, unaware of the rage that was brewing inside Alex. "I would have thought he would at least be concerned enough to check on me, to find out how I'm feeling."

Alex was beginning to lose his cool. He had been very patient and tolerant. He had been understanding and comforting each time Sheila came to him pining for Noah. But there is only so much a man can take. 

"Sheila, you're upset because he didn't check up on you?"

Sheila nodded. Her eyes glistening. 

"Doesn't that tell you anything?" Alex pressed. "Besides, what makes you think he even watched it last night? You assume that he did just because you had plastered your involvement in the competition all over social media? You assume he's still checking your social media to find out what you've been up to? Come on, Sheila, stop fooling yourself!"

Sheila felt the heat rising up to her face. She was shocked by Alex's unexpected outburst. She felt hurt by his words. 

"Are you calling me a fool, Alex?" she asked challengingly. 

"Yes."

Sheila was angry. She yanked her hand from Alex's grip. This wasn't what she was hoping for. She expected Alex to be accommodating, to comfort and console her like all the other times. But no, right now Alex is acting like a jerk. 

"You're upset over a guy who obviously doesn't care enough for you. That's foolish especially when you have a guy who would do anything for you right here," Alex said wearily. "I called you last night, Sheila, seventeen fucking times! Did you even bother to take my call? No. Did you even bother to return my call? No. Why, Sheila? Don't I matter? Don't my feelings matter?"

Sheila lowered her gaze and bowed her head. This was not how she expected things to turn out. She came to Alex to get some support, that was the only reason she sought him out. She was hurting, in pain because Noah hadn't checked up on her. Couldn't Alex see that she's hurting? Why is he being so insensitive? And why is he making this about him when it is about Noah? It is always about Noah, why can't Alex see that? 

Alex felt like crying. He had been doing his best to show Sheila how much he cares about her, how much he loves her. The day that Noah broke things off with her, she was a wreck. Did she forget who was there with her to help her pick up the pieces of her broken heart? Did she forget all the things she had asked him to do to get Noah's attention after the break up? Did she forget all the acts she had asked him to put on when they took selfies to flood her Instagram page; the image of a couple deeply in love? Has she forgotten all that? Maybe it was all just an act on her part to try to lure Noah back but it wasn't an act for him. He is truly and genuinely in love with her. He, Alex. Why can't she see that?

"I love you, Sheila," Alex said quietly. "I've loved you from the first moment we met. Yes, you were Noah back then but you can't deny that even then your relationship with him wasn't stable. You are always suspicious of him. You doubt everything he tells you. You don't want to admit it but the fact is, you don't trust him. You want to, but you can't. So why on earth are you still holding on to him? Why, Sheila? It makes no sense. When you're with your girlfriends and close friends you belittle him, you make fun of him, you put him down but yet you won't let go of him, you still want him, you still pine for him, why? You barricade yourself from those who try to get close to you. You don't allow yourself to feel for anyone but Noah. Look at me, you won't even give me a chance to show you what I've got! You flirt with me, you make me believe like you're falling for me but it's all a game to you, Sheila. You are like a spider. You lure men into your web, you entice them enough to trap them, to keep them close, to make Noah jealous. You can't bear the thought of him being with other women. You can't stomach the thought of him being with anyone but you. So you lure your prey to get his attention. You use people, Sheila, you used me. Hell, you even used Noah, the one you claimed to be your soul mate! It makes me wonder, Sheila, are you even capable of loving anyone apart from yourself?"

Sheila kept her eyes fixed to the Persian rug on the floor. The whole time Alex was making his accusations she hadn't said a word. But she heard. She heard every word he said. She doesn't have to listen anymore. She grabbed her bag and stood up. Without looking at Alex she marched angrily to the door. 

"That's right, leave," Alex hollered from the sofa. "Go run to Noah, that is, if you can find him. Oh wait, you are running to the next poor bloke in line. I'm sure you have a long list of schmucks like me just waiting to do whatever you want. Well, good luck to the next guy. For his sake, I hope he's a lot smarter than me."

Sheila yanked the door open and stormed out of Alex's apartment. She almost ran to the elevator. Her heart was beating hard and her vision was blurred by the tears in her eyes but she held them back. She expected to see Alex come running after her, to apologize, to beg her to stay and she wasn't going to let him see her cry. But Alex did not come after her. When the elevator door opened, she stepped in but hesitated to press the L button. She waited in the elevator with the door open for a brief moment. She would press the button when she sees Alex approaching. But Alex didn't come for her. With a sinking heart, she pressed the button.