Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

I am tired and I am done. 

I am not going to think about you, worry about you or wonder how you are doing. Instead I am going to think about what I have to do, what I need to accomplish and who I want to be. I am not going to waste anymore time pushing you, encouraging you or motivating you. I am not going to waste anymore time waiting for you to change because you have shown me you can't. 

I am letting go all the thoughts in my head and the heaviness in my heart. It is time to be real. I am going to walk my talk and proceed with the plan you failed to follow through. I am moving forward without you holding me back. 

It all starts with one day. It starts with one simple decision. It starts with me deciding that I have given you more than enough time to get your shit together, I have given you more than enough face for all your endless excuses, I have given you more than enough chances for you to make good on your word. It starts with me realizing and facing the fact that you are nowhere close to the man you claimed to be. It all starts with one simple choice but it is the most important one; it all starts with me choosing myself. 

It is easy to choose to push you everyday because the thought of you pursuing your passion and reinventing yourself makes me happy. It is easy to make up scenarios in my head for all the drama surrounding you, to make excuses for your slack, but it also drains me when I am the only one thinking of your supposed dream, when I am the only one trying and pushing when all this time it was nothing more to you than just another one of your fantasies. 

It becomes disheartening when I don't see results. It becomes disheartening when I keep hearing excuses and lies. It becomes disheartening looking at all our abandoned projects that were halted by you. It becomes disheartening to see that I cared too much about your success when you never cared enough. 

So now, I am choosing myself. Now, I am putting myself first. Today may just be one day but it is more than that to me. Today marks the beginning of a decision that will probably last forever. It is the beginning of a new journey that you are not part of. It is the beginning of me not choosing you. It is the beginning of me choosing to not collaborate with you in anymore projects. 

Now, I am choosing myself the way you choose yourself every single day.