Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

If I had known I was going to lose you from my life, I would have done more. All the regrets in the world doesn't bring you back. I wish I could have been that phone call or text that saved your life, that night you did herion. The heart break being woken up out of a dead sleep to hear you were gone. Still haunts me. I carry a pain that never goes away. It gets easier. Every day I think about all the what ifs or the I wish one times. Every year I miss seeing your Halloween costume. I always got excited to see what you were dressing up as. I miss seeing your Facebook posts during football season. I miss hearing about your small act of kindness. Like the time you grew your hair out and donated it. I'll never forget how much fun I had with you at chucke cheeses. Or our silly goose voices. I miss catching up with you. I miss knowing I'll see you every year at the reunion and I miss going to fair with you. I remember us being kids and you and your brother were always there. Remember us climbing trees. Or the time we did dishes for your mom and we had to much soap. I remember being so proud of you for going to church. You always tried to make it important part of your life. I keep thinking and hoping theses last 3 years are just a dream of you being gone. You are that person who's life should have never ended so short. I wish you had the chance to be a father to be a husband. To really live your life. The worst part. The worst feeling in the whole world is. I didn't get to say goodbye to you cousin. I went to sleep and woke up to you being gone. I didn't go to your funeral because we lived states away and I didn't have the money. Which killed me. I just wish I could hug you and talk to you one last time. But I know your around on the days I need you. And I'm thankful to have at least that. I love you so much and I know your at peace. I just wish your peace was still on Earth.