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Hope, according to Wikipedia, is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large. As a verb, it's definitions include "expect with confidence" and "to cherish a desire with anticipation".

In a nutshell, it is basically putting one's self in the hands of fate with no inkling of what is really going to happen. 

Hmmm.... 

Looking at it, hope is seemingly a risky gamble. It's like placing a high bet on a fortune cookie with there being no guarantee that what one hopes for will actually produce the outcome they desire. In other words, there is always that possibility that hope can mess you up if the outcome you get is not what you are prepared for. 

Where am I going with this? 

Well, I happen to be one of those people who clings onto hope. I am a gambler, a risk-taker, a hoper of far-flung hopes. And because of the way I am, I have found myself messed up in many occasions in my life. One would think I would have learned my lesson and not have hope anymore but no, I still hang onto hope, I still believe in hope, and I'm still giving hope a chance. Because let's face it, seasons change. Storms don't last forever. Eventually the sun is going to come out, the rainbow will colour the sky and hey, you know what they say you can find at the end of the rainbow, right? 

So yeah, I am hopeful. 

..... 

All the messages I sent that were ignored, unfelt, discarded and left unread; I believe will find their way back to me in sweet words and consistent actions in a way that doesn't leave me confused or wondering. I believe they will come back to me in a way where I know every word is real, every emotion is true, and lies are nothing but old news; something I vaguely remember and something I don't have to worry about. 

All the nights I stayed up waiting for a call I didn't receive; I believe will be replaced by hours of conversations with someone who doesn't want to hang up the phone on me. I believe it wouldn't be a one-sided conversation with me asking all the questions just to keep the conversation going. And after hours of talking to each other on the phone, I believe I will not be the only one sleeping with the biggest smile on my face. I believe I will not wake up wondering when the next call will be because I will be woken up by the ringing of my phone in the morning. 

All the 'dates' I took myself on; I believe will be recreated and this time I won't be eating alone. I will have the best company, we will stay till it's time for the restaurant to close for the day, and I believe I will have the time of my life where I will forget about all the days I ate alone in a crowded restaurant staring out the window. I believe I will be with someone who makes me feel treasured, someone who makes time for me, someone who can't get enough of me, someone who is ten steps ahead, already planning all the other dates they want to take me on. 

All the years where I felt misunderstood, unloved and unwanted; I believe will be erased by someone who knows my worth. Someone who tries to understand my complexities, someone who doesn't think my feelings are too much, someone who doesn't shame me for being too deep or too sensitive or for being a hopeless romantic. Someone who doesn't mock or ridicule the traits that make me who I am, someone who enhances every little part of me. 

All the tears I wasted on the people who left or the ones who broke my heart; I believe will evaporate and I will find a kind of love I never saw coming. I believe I will find happiness, peace, and security. I believe I will find the kind of love that makes up for the disappointments and heartbreak, the kind of love that exceeds my expectations, the kind of love that doesn't make me wonder if it's one-sided or if it's all in my head. I believe I will find the kind of love that humbles me and makes me feel so thankful that I'll wonder what I did to deserve it. 

.... Did I mention that I am hopeful?  A hoper of far-flung hopes? 

Well, that is the kind of love I hope finds me because of all the love I have given, all the times my heart believed, all the prayers I made, and all the moments I gave my all and received nothing. That is the kind of love I hope finds me to make me believe that the love I had given all this while was not a wasted effort. 

Far-fetched? 
Delusional? 
Naive? 
Foolish? 

Well, I did say I am a hoper of far-flung hopes.