Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

You spend so long exceeding someone’s expectations that they grow a custom to that outcome.  

When the situation changes though and you know the outcome is going to change. 

It’s hard adjusting to the fact that each and every day you’re gonna dissapoint the people who’s expectations were failed. That they are going to try and tell you to shape up your act. That you need to stop being lazy and grow up. 

There will be a day where they’ll snap at you. They will have enough with the failed expectations and try to drill into your head their expectations. 

You already know their expectations though. You spent three months doing what they wanted. Only failing to reach their expectations three times within those three months. 

When the situation changes though and suddenly the time you have is limited. It’s much harder to do what they wanted to get done. 

I can’t clean the house from 9-2 so you can come home to a clean house. 

I can’t take the dogs out every single hour because sometimes classes run over, and I could be marked absent. 

I can’t get my little siblings to listen when I’m not their parent. I’m still only their sister, and they aren’t going to listen to me as well as they would you. 

I can’t clean the entire house and pick everything up 
I can’t socialize with you all 
And keep up perefect grades 

It’s hard having to hold off on homework to cook dinner. Then having everyone complain because I’m staying in my room doing homework till 11 o clock. 

It’s not easy trying to live with two people with failed expectations. 

Summer they had a perfectly cleaned house. Organized and clean for when they got home. Now that I’m actually in school now. One thinks I just sit around and do nothing. The other thinks I can just clean all do instead of doing actual schooling. 

It’s hard because some days it gets so stressful that I just go somewhere alone and cry. It’s hard enough keeping up with 10th grade. I barely understand chemistry and currently have a C in that class. I don’t want to add getting three kids on the bus, taking care of dogs, feeding kids dinner, cleaning the house, socializing, and mental health on top of it all. 

They say 16 year olds are still kids, but how come I don’t feel like it? How come I feel like I’m already an adult?