Category : Stories

Sub Category : Romance

The man standing in front of me is damaged, broken, and badly wounded. He's seen more than his share of heartache, heartbreak, betrayal, infidelity, and disloyalty, and it's left him with deep, throbbing scars. He hides it well (sometimes), but he doesn't always fool everyone.
I should know. I'm pretty emotionally banged up, too, and like recognizes like. My old wounds respond to his and, as many damaged people may understand, seek to both comfort his pain and receive a little comfort in return. Our demons seem to play well together (except for when they don't, which is rare, but does occasionally happen with two severely damaged people), and, for me at least, the pain eases a great deal when it's just the two of us.
However, I also know that this broken, hurting man is not who he really is. Life, experience, and people taught him how to grow a thick, callused skin; that he must always be prepared to lash out and shut down (or TAKE down) everyone before he gets hurt yet again. He's learned cold disdain and suspicion, and he's often consumed in learning new ways to distance himself from others (and to attack others, when distancing isn't necessarily possible), but that's not WHO he REALLY is. It's merely HOW he is... now. And, I believe this for two reasons... 
First, I've known him for more than half our lives, and I happen to LOVE him. I love almost all people, simply because, in some cases, no one else will... and because that's who I am. That's not what I mean though; I'm IN love with him. I've seen how warm, kind, and loving he can be, especially when he looks at me; it's like something straight out of a beautiful fairy tale. I've observed a genuine concern and fear in his eyes whenever I am in great distress or pain (especially when it's something he cannot immediately resolve or cease) that I once believed no person was ever truly capable of feeling. I've noticed how his heart breaks a little when he --or anyone-- says or does something that really hurts me (I'm FAR more sensitive than I can ever admit, even to myself). I've also seen him flinch, ever so slightly, whenever he's hurt by someone (including me, as much as it pains and sickens me to admit). And, I've noticed the way his eyes light up, despite any storm clouds that existed there previously, as soon as I smile or become genuinely excited about something (no matter how silly it usually is). I'm not entirely sure if he knows I see these things, but I do know that I've witnessed what few will ever see again, and it is more precious to me than life itself. Sure, I've also seen him angry, scared, stressed, hurting... it breaks my heart to see him unhappy, but I love those parts of him, too. I'm in love with all his different pieces, both broken and beautiful, and I'm proud to be the person with whom he's chosen to share all of them.
Second, on top of all the other amazing things I see in him, I can still see the guy I fell in love with many years ago; the guy who HADN'T suffered so much because of the truckloads of shit he's gotten and never deserved. I remember how happy and warm he was (if a little sharp-witted and sarcastic, whenever necessary... just one of many things I always found so sexy about him). I know how he used to smile, without the weight of the world pulling at the corners of his mouth. I'd love him, no matter WHAT... but I'd also do ANYTHING to remove as much of that burdening resentment, pain, contempt, and worry as I possibly can. I hope against hope that I can undo some of the damage that's plagued and tormented him for so long, and replace it with some of the happiness I've seen in him before.
I know that people change. Again, I should know; I've changed, too. I have no doubt that there are MANY things about me he wishes he could change, that I could change, or that had NEVER changed. I'd never WANT him to suddenly become 100% the guy he used to be; nor would he want me to be the exact same girl. We've both learned invaluable lessons throughout our lives; even some of the bad experiences had a way of making crucial personal improvements (I can only speak for myself, but I think he might agree, at least a little) that helped make a strong, loving relationship possible at this point in our lives. However, I'd love to chip away at the ice that's formed over so many years because of so many awful experiences, because I know how warm everything underneath that ice is...