Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Love... Something adults think they are the only ones able to expirience  they think that they are the only ones that can expirience real love.. But really children expirience more love then any adult more heart breaks, why? Because yound kids learned from the beggining that being born alone is horrible and you always need someone. Some young kids are worse players then any adults. Kids expirience true love they kiss they hug they twerk on eachother they get freaky. They do things "adults should be doing" like habing sex, masterbating, watching porn, our society is advanced too much so i would say! Im currently in a very strong relationship hes a sweet guy hes wonderful but theres so much doupt in my head, what if... He hurts me like my ex did, they are totally different my ex is a posesive liar a cheater and a women beater, he threatened to kill me and once he actually intended to stab me with a knife. But this time its different i met him a fee months ago met him one day the next we acted like a "thing" then it got serious it seemed like he had no time for me so i just didnt tell him how i felt, we never had good conversations. I started thinking " this isnt working" i tried to break up with him           ( keep in mind that i TRIED)  but he stopped answering i got so scared that i just gor back with him the second i was scared that he would harm himself he never said he was going to hes not a sphyco i just..didnt wanna hurt him, so we got together and we decided that, this episode never happened. I told him more about myself issues i had gonw throught before we started dating i had been in a mental institution it was scary, i tried to kill myself, i was so unhappy and deppressed, he was so positive and supportive and he told me "im going to love you so much you wont ever be sad" and he was positive about it he was right he made me forget it all. After a few months we started to get comfortable with eachother we started to talk sexually and it was an amazing feeling he was amazing then i went to the hospital and my mom and i asked for mw to get a birth control shot, ive never had sex before so i wanted to be preppared. Then a few months and i started to send some sexual pictures, ge didnt ask i felt comfortable he loves me every stretch mark every inch and soon we talked about having a family, i was so happy once he asked me for sooo many nudes i refused and i got scared cause i thought he would get mad at me, but to my surprise he said something ive expected from a boy for so long i never told him though [that would be embarrassing} he said " Its okay baby, ibe decided i dont want your nudes anymore i want to love you for who you are im in love with you, not with your nudes" that made me so happy i havent sent a nude sense some of my brain parts tell me " hes getting nudea from someone else" but i tend not to think too much about it we recently started thinking about moving in together once we are older idk how thats going to go. But all i know is i got my life set and i hope him to be part of it. I know he loves me he tells me everyday, i plan him to be my first ever and i want kids with him in the future but the thing is ibe talked to him he takes random pictures of himself he makes videos for me i know its not a catfish but i have never met him in person my mom knows about him, and his mom knows about me. We have been trying but he goes to church and i dont anymore he has family gatherings i dont he has a dad i dont he hates a lot of foods i love every type of food, we are different but i learned thats not bad at all it better to have a relationship where theres to completely different people then have a boring relationship and be the same. But anyways somtimes he doesnt talk to mw for a whole day but he always gets to me and lets me know what happened and he has good excuses tho i hate that and hes a good guy rn we are mad at eachother because i dont remember why but anyways it doesnt matter this will be ov er as soon as he texts me if he even wants to, someti.es i ask does he love me? What is love? Well..i already know this is love im currently 15 and yeah i go through this every teen does we arent angels like you though we think like adults cause thats what we see around us adults. Im in love ik what love is i know its what im feeling now we might be mad at eachother but we are always happy together ik when we get the channce we will see eachother he lives far away so its hard rn but it will get better.
Thank you for listening ir reading lol

                                                    - teen in love💘