Category : Diary/Journal
Sub Category : N/A
The room is buzzing. The voices seem to echo in your head. But one voice rips through them all. That voice you've heard a million times before. The one that tells you everyone in the room is staring at you and judging everything you do. You try to escape to another room to escape the voices but that thought in your head now says that everyone thinks it's odd that you left. You've decided to just leave. I mean, it's the most logical thing to do in your mind..
Now to the person reading this, it may seem strange. But to me, this is a daily struggle. I am a girl who has anxiety. You may think that it's completely normal. Who doesn't have anxiety? It occurs in everyone's life but have you ever had it so bad that it's impossible for you to do anything? Well, I have.
Anxiety isn't just an excuse. It's a mental illness that can be treated with medicine. Unfortunately, that medicine doesn't always help. Even if it's the strongest medicine in the world, it still depends on how your mind works.
My mind is a very unstable place. I get in these moods where everything is wrong. I believe that I'm a very terrible person at times. Everything I feel, everything I do, and everything I say is affected by these moods. I have a lot of people I can talk to but I feel so alone.
There are times that I can't physically make myself go to work. Like right now, I feel as if I'm going to have a panic attack just thinking about work tomorrow. It's a horrible feeling and it leaves a gigantic lump in my throat. I just feel like throwing up and the feeling in my gut is extremely painful.
There are times where it feels like my heart is going to explode. I just don't understand why I have to feel like this.
If you have ever felt felt like this at all, I am so sorry. I know how that feeling is. I hope you have found ways to cope and deal with your situation. Just remember that no matter how bad people like us feel, there is always hope that one day we will hopefully get better.
