Category : Blogs

Sub Category : relationships

	I think it is possible to have a really good girlfriend at any age, but often hard to find. You need to find a person who is on the same wavelength so to speak. You have to have something in common you like to do and think alike in morals and values and such. Not too much different than picking out a good husband. I know it would be nice if we could be great friends with everyone we want to but sometimes they just don't feel the same way or their life takes a different turn. 
	I moved when I was going into my junior year of high school and so it was very hard to make a close girlfriend; and I, too, found it easier to get along with boys. I've often wondered if that is why I got married so young, although I'm happy I did. I think we grew up together. But first, God had to pick him out for me, as I was too young to recognize the value of thinking alike in so many ways like morals, values, and such. 
	One of my longest and best friends started really getting on my nerves when our children had grown up. She always had the problem of spreading gossip and couldn't wait to tell everyone she knew everything I said. As a close friend, we went through some hard times and when she spread things I would rather not have spread around, I finally blew up at her. Afterwards she was sorry and promised not to do such, but I'm afraid it was in her nature to do so and she couldn't seem to help it. So after that I blamed myself for telling her anything that I wanted to be kept confidential. Later we moved away from each other and continued to be friends, but I could never feel as comfortable with her any more. 
	Maybe a person pulls away because there is little in common, they have other interests that keep them busy, or something happened that they don't want to get into. I have to be careful of my friends because I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, and I don't want to have a friend that smokes. Also, if someone tells me nasty things about someone else, I wonder what they say about me behind my back. 
	Sometimes you both have a need that each one fills and a great friendship ensues. It isn't easy to make friends when you don't get out into the world much like working, church, etc. Some people think friends should come to them and some go after them too aggressively and scare them away. 
	Now that I have the FMS I've had to think about the friends that I make whether I would be holding them down in things they wanted to do. Like I used to walk with some neighbor friends; and it was fun to chat along the way, but now I have to walk at my own speed and when I am able. 
	In a friend I like a person who is upbeat as I have problems with depression and people who are down all the time bring me down too. I've made some nice friends through working; but when I changed jobs, we didn't get to see each other regularly and soon lost touch. I find I can say more to a person that I talk to often than one I haven't talked to in a long time. Everyday things just don't seem important or too involved to talk about with someone you don't talk too much. You end up talking about the weather and how are you and not getting much farther. I find that is what happens to a lot of people who say they don't make friends at church. They don't join anything or take opportunities to get to know the other people and complain no one then talks to them. How can you make a friend with someone during a church service? You can't, you have to get involved or do something with them. 
	Children are a great help in making friends. I have made my best and long time friends through my children. They have activities you get involved in, and you have school things to talk about. You are on the same schedule usually so have the same free time to do things together. Children are friendly and reach out to strangers. Some people use their animals in the same way. They take their dog for a walk and start up conversations with other people walking their dog and they then have something in common right away. 
	I made a lot of friends roller-skating each week because we saw each other every week. I have a lot of friends here in our retirement community that I do things with regularly like the Canasta Club. However, it seems harder to make a lasting friend when you are older.

2003