Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Self Help

     It’s an invariable daily reprieve my body and mind require; at least until this sentence my human shell is cursed to suffer, has run its course.
     Today, it's a combination of antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and meditation. 
     Yesterday, it was spirituality, forgiveness, salvation, and a sense of enlightenment. 
     Before, it was Antabuse, Suboxone, and intense therapy—a mere sliver of the light to come. 
     Because a week ago, my life wasn't a life, but merely an existence, watching and envying other people's lives. It was a mental, emotional, and physical nightmare, impossible to escape. 
     Without any doubt, I plainly welcomed death. For, it would be the golden key that would unlock the door standing in-between me and the comforting sense of alleviation and well-being. Feeling like a child again. Together with its sweet company of innocence and the unwitting, blissful ignorance of what's to come. I dreamed of death. 
     Though, after an overdose of pleasure, not even death could save me from the sickening pain I was doomed to wake up suffer, every morning. It was the result of having felt a touch of heaven and true ecstasy. And then, abusing it. 
     The life sentence of pain would come from accepting another's death from my own hand solely to get another taste. And the fuming need of accompaniment that walks hand-in-hand with misery. 
     Still, not even that could dissipate the desire for more. 


(To Be Continued… )