Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Romance

"I won't hurt you, Lilly" I mutter as I get close to her, kissing her gently

Two weeks earlier 




My name is Jason, I am 18 years old, I have a two younger sisters, Bella and Isabella they both are 13, their twins, I also have two older brothers, Alex, he's 19 and Aaron he's 25, I live alone, although I get my sisters on Friday night after school and work, they stay until Monday I drop them off at school them I go to school, then my dad picks them up, I usually get off work at 8, at least I'm always off on the weekend, sometimes on Friday, I go to a local high school, I hate school, there's always drama and fighting, when I go to school I always have to be someone I'm not, I always had to be mean, I just want to fit in, but the person I have to be mean to, her name is Lilly, I have loved her since middle school, The people I call 'friends' know that too, They tell me that she would never love someone like me, and I believe them, stupid huh? Anyway, every single time I hurt Lilly, or make her cry I want to die, I have been wanting death since 15, though I never could,  not that I am scared to die, it's that I can't or rather my mom won't let me, its not like she walks in when I'm trying to kill myself, she just brings me back, see my parents aren't like yours, they can do things that you won't believe, now have you ever heard the song 'god is a girl'? That's my mom! God is my mom and the devil is my dad, now I know your probably thinking "what is this nut job talking about?" (this is a fictional story I'm not saying that god is a girl or that god is real or the devil is) do you remember when I told you my siblings names? Those names are called 'human names' they are not the names we were born with, my real name is Krama, yes you read that right, I'm the one who makes sure that people get what they deserve, if you do something good to someone I'll make sure you get something good in return, but if you do something bad to someone I'll make sure you feel the same way they did,  or even worse, Bellas real name is Soul, she watches over everybodys soul, she makes sure that when you die you to where you belong, meaning Heaven or Hell, Isabellas real name is Spirit, she is that little voice in you mind saying to be good and to avoid doing bad, Alex's real name is Blaze, he is that little voice telling you to be bad, and often telling you that it's a good thing when it's really a bad thing, like doing drugs, he would tell you that you should do drugs cause all the cool kids are doing it, Aaron's real name is Essence he is the one that helps you get out of situations unharmed, he is kinda like you body guard, he fights demans that try to take your soul, did you ever realize that the voice telling you to do bad things is really quiet? Essence always tries to get rid of that voice, though if he couldn't stop it he would make that voice really quiet in hopes you won't hear it, my moms name is Irene and my dads name is Chad, anyway back to me,  I'm not really a good person, I have anger issues and drinking issues, when I drink I always get so mad over everything, I drink because of my loneliness, even though I have a new girl each week,  deep down I know they don't care about me,  and they never will, they just play me for that week off fame, no one know about what I really am and no one knows I even have siblings, speaking of siblings, haven't seen Alex or Aaron in a couple years, Aaron is always in Hell with our dad,  and Alex well let's just say that we hate each other, anyway do you remember when I told you about school? Well we are going to start on monday morning, I get woken up my sister,  soul, "come on! You have to drop us off so you can go to school too!" she yells, I groan when I get sit up, I sigh as I look at soul, she ready for school already, I have an hour before I have be at school, they have an half hour to be at school, "alright get out so I can change" "okay," she says as she walks out off my room, I get changed in my school uniform, I have to were a pair of black pants, a white button up shirt with a red tie, the girls have to wear a white button up shirt with a red ribbon tied to look like a bow, a black and white skirt that is alittle past their thighs and black pantie hose that are kinda see though, they are about 2 inches below their knees, now this is NOT what my sisters were, they were kinda what the girls in my school have to were but their shirts are below their knees, once I'm done changing I walk out of my room, "alright everyone in the car" I say as I grab my car keys and get into my car, its a black car with 8 seats and black leather seats, (we all can were any kind of shoes we want)I drop of my sisters then head to school, once I'm there I park my car and walk to the school, I see Lilly get dropped of my her brother and meet up with three friends, I meet up with my 'friends', there's Joey, James, Molly, Lucy, and Adam, "Yo man!" Adam says as he raises his fist want a fist pump, I push his hand away, "aw come on! Stop being such a stick in the mud!" Adam says "I'm not in the mood, Adam" I say crossing my arms, "aw why?" Lucy asks, "I drank too much last night,  I have a hangover..." I lie, "so get over it" James says,  "sooooooooooooooooooooooo wanna mess with Lilly again?!" Lucy asks, "no say no!" I think to myself, "duh!" I say hating myself, "well then go!" Lucy adds, "okay" I say as I walk over to Lilly and I grab her backpack and raise it over my head, " come on shorty! reach!" I mock her, "Jason please! Put it down!" "if you want it then grab it!" "Jason please" her eyes start to water, at this point I just wanted this to end, so I throw her back pack in the frontan that's near where Lilly and her friends were standing, everybody laughs but me, "I just want to die" I think to myself as I walk away, time skip, schools ending, I skip the last class and go to the roof, some people eat up here, Though there's no-one here now, I sit on the railing I'm facing forward, the stairs to get here is behind, where I'm sitting I can see the frontan and gate to get in to school, I sigh as I look down wishing I could jump and end this, so many people would be so much better without me, like Lilly, tears start to fall, "why must I suffer like this? Why can't I die?!" I think to myself, knowing my mom can hear me, "you must live and suffer like people do" my mom says, "I hate you" I whisper, someone grabs my arm pulling me backwards, I fall backwards, "what are you thinking?" Lilly yells as she stands over me, "why would you do that?! It hurt!" I yell back "answer me!" she demands "I just.." "you just what?!" "I just want to die!" I finally snap, she sighs, she puts her hand out for me to grab, I grab her hand, she helps me up, "come on...lets get you home" Lilly says, "can we just stay here for awhile?" she nods, we sit with our backs to the railings, "what made you want to die?" she asks looking at me, I look away, "you can tell I won't tell a soul!" she adds, I grab her hand, "J-jason?!" she says while blushing, "just...talk" I mutter, "what...should I say?" "anything! Talk about what makes you happy or what you like to do" "u-um...I like riding my bike and um watching movies" "what kind of movies?" "horror movies" "like?" "um the babadook, the purge, the quite place, and" "Paranormal Activity?" "yeah!" "really?!" "I have watched those movies so many times!" "me too" I say as I start to look at her,  her face is so close to me, I  move closer to her, kissing her, Now it has NOT been two weeks,  so this is not the part in the beginning, she kisses back, we both pull back not believing what we just did, "y-you kissed me!" she yells as she starts to cry, I pull her close whiping her tears, "it's okay,  Lilly" "why d-did you-?!" "relax, catch your breath" she starts to relax, "You asked why I kissed you right?" she nods, "cause I love you" "you what?!" "please claim down! Take a breath, please" "okay, okay, so let me get this straight, you love me?" I nod,  "but you always made fun off me,  you said you hated me" " my 'friends told me to do it,  I never wanted to" Lilly looks down at our hands, she pulls her hand away,  I let her, not wanting to be pushy,  she sits comer to me, she puts her head on my shoulder, "I-I love you t-too" she mutters, "c-can we?-" she pauses, "if you want to" I say as I turn to look down at her, "Jason... I-I do love you but we can't do this now, my brother doesn't even know about you,  maybe as can start with being friends then we can try to be more" she says as I look at her,  I nod,  "sounds like a plain" we stay quiet again, "I'm glad I was able to get that of my chest" I say breaking the silence, "yeah...what do think my brother is going to say about this?" "I don't know... "