Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I need a second to pretend. To pretend that my trust was nothing to you. When I told you something but you didn't hear...correctly. I need to pretend that whatever I say is a lie so that you can always see it as truth. You will always spread the lie thinking I've let loose.
       But when I give silence, you seem desperate. It doesn't matter what slips. My words will always remain kept in my lips. They should not be heard by such undeserving persons. Persons whom are for hear to use for certain gain. Yet how can they receive that without going through hell and back with the pain. 
      I'm starting to feel intentions in a person next to me. They want attention but need an accomplice. I keep my mouth shut without say. Before what slips out makes me a possible prey. Now with a new mind that tells me what I think and a new heart that beats for what I shall feel, I can now taste ideals. I can avoid horrible mishaps in the next making. Before I am consumed in a person's taking.
     I can't let loose of what my lips will speak. My sadness and loneliness needs to find itself a peak. I don't want hate and dread on my heels like a ghost bounded to my soul. I want to cherish this year and show my mature way of handling things. But I can assure I will not make that mistake with you ever again. 
     After that math, I was able to calculate what you sought. Now I want to show you the silence that will now talk. You think I don't talk much but you're incredibly...incorrect. It's just that I'm being more honest with myself. Learning how to talk when my voice wants to let out and holding back to show my self-discipline. Learning what I should say and what to not especially around undeserved persons.
       Like last time with you, I will not let loose. I will not allow anyone undeserving to see the worst or the best of me. I will not let them see me as an opportunity for viciousness. I will walk in my shoes with my head high up and not let loose...anything that's a lie for you.