Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Ever feel like it's just impossible to put one foot in front of the other? Each day you get dressed and put on a smile. While you wait all day just to wash it off like the makeup you wear to hide your flaws?
This routine drains my energy. The overwhelming urge to cover myself with blankets and disappear into its endless darkness. 
The dark, it hugs all parts me, pulling me deeper and deeper into its void. I allow it, it feels like home. The loneliness is so familiar, the ache inside that manifests itself into physical form, lying to the world around me that I am actually sick. 
It's in my head. It spreads through me like a cancer. I am tired. I. Am. So. Tired. My eyes refuse to close, I am frozen here in my own misery unable to find comfort. 
I look towards the light, it feels so close, I reach out to steal some of that warmth, I get burned. Every fucking time I see that light, I'm filled with a false sense of hope, I lunge after it now. I fall. I'm in the dark yet again. 
I roll out of bed, I paint on my face that lies to all those around me. I speak with a smile, careful not to allow the negativity inside me to escape. But oops, there it is. 
I throw it out there, hoping that if I vent and let my troubles fly out into the air, they will eventually dissipate leaving me feeling momentarily high. Just when I am feeling an ounce of happy, the darkness, it comes right back and slaps me in the face like a fucking boomerang. 
Then I remember the words of those wiser than me, what you put out, you get back. Say it with me, What you put out is what you will get back. 
Tell me how to find a morsel of light inside my hollow heart, and I will give you my last drop...I will put it out there, every last ounce. However, it eludes me,I just have to find it first.