Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I feel as though I have been here before. This sort of emptiness inside me is all too familiar. I see the world moving on without me, I remain still. Lost in my thoughts, trying to make sense of it all. 
I know I should get up, there are things to be done. The mundane tasks that fill each day with less meaning, call out to me, igniting a guilt deep inside of me. 
I argue with myself to get up, to move. I resist. There has got to be something more than this. This vicious cycle of nothingness douses the fire inside of me. Trapped within these walls. A prison that exists only in my head. If only I could just slip this feeling off like a nightgown that falls on the bathroom floor. I will come for you later, but now, I must get up. 
I must find a deeper meaning in the day to day monotony, then maybe these walls will stop caving in on me. Maybe, just maybe I can breathe again.
I try to reach out with words, allowing these monsters in my head to dance free as they roll off my tongue. But I stop. I am a burden. I am a sad existence, sifting through the bullshit to just stay afloat. 
I listen in silence, I listen as they make me believe that I am not worthy. I crawl back inside to my safe place where everything is dark. Sounds are muffled as I drift back to sleep. 
When each step forward feels like two steps back, I want nothing but to end this dance. A tango with the many voices in my head, I drink to shut them up. I blink away the tears to hide them from those that I love. Its taxing to be around me, I'd rather be alone. 
When the sun sets down below the mountains, take me with you, I plead. Instead, I hide in the dark. 
This. This is depression.