Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Relationships

Romance died somewhere in the twisted shadows of their eclipsing hearts. Promises forsaken, obliterated by brutal truth. 
She once had the ability to light up his entire world with a simple kiss, making each star in his midnight sky more luminous in her presence. But the heavens have faded to black right along with his heart. The same bruised heart that he hesitantly placed in the palms of her hands for safekeeping. 
Her touch used to heal him - mind, body and soul. Used to. But her tongue has become a weapon formed against him and her lashings have taken a toll. Her words still echo through him like unwanted sound bites stuck on repeat. They have waged war against his heart. And as the violent waves fall and rise, he struggles against the current trying his hardest not to capsize. He is drowning.  Yet, she doesn’t even notice him gasping for air.  
But just as sure as the sun is to rise another day, he knows that tomorrow she is certain to pledge her undying love for him. He just can't promise to be the same giving man she wants him to be when the morning comes.
There is a subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a Soul. Love doesn't mean leaning, company doesn't always mean security, kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. It took him awhile to realize that. Realization hit him when he saw that what he imagined in his head and the reality that he faced don't match. And for a long time, he felt like he had failed.
Since the realization, he has accepted his defeats with his head held high and his eyes straight ahead. He accepted it with a grace of a man and not the grief of a child. The realization had taught him to build all his roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. As for futures? He realized they have a way of falling down in mid flight. 
Experience is a hell of a good teacher. After being in an on and off relationship with her, he has learned to see things with a new set of fresh eyes. He recognize now that even sunshine burns if he gets too much. 
So, he's moving on with more maturity and wisdom. Instead of waiting for someone to bring him flowers, he is going to plant his own garden. He is going to decorate his own Soul. He is going to give himself more credit rather than continuously putting himself down. He is going to acknowledge his own strength. 
He was blind before. Blinded by the beauty of her shell. He was foolish before. Foolish to overlook her narcissistic behaviour. He was delusional before. Delusional to believe that she would change.
He is hurting bad. The pain she had brought onto him had cut him so deep that he thought he is doomed. But realization had flipped the script. He realize now that he is strong enough to endure the pain and disappointment of his unmet expectations. She had deemed him worthless, but realization had made him take a good look at himself. He realize now that he is worthy. 
Yes, realization has taught him a lot. He realize now that he still has so much to learn. He is going to learn from his mistakes, learn from his letdowns, and he is going to keep learning until he heals from this pain and heartache, no matter how long it takes.