Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

   Sometimes, whenever you are in need of help on a regular basis it feels good to know that you can help someone else. Last week whenever we went shopping for groceries, I got put in a rather odd position. In the Pet Center area, I ran into three old ladies who needed cat litter. I helped each one of the three old ladies that asked me for a hand. It's funny when you have a handicap, and someone asks you to do something for them. It doesn't bother me to go ahead and help out though, because I know it's the right thing to do. Especially, in this type of situation. This really isn't about bragging though, but more about why I do this type of thing.
It comes natural, whenever you have difficulty doing something for yourself. Honestly, I think people that do have problems want to make a much bigger difference in the world. Some people, will not stop at anything to achieve this goal. I am well aware, because of the warnings from my doctor in the past that this could be harmful, but I started to realize if I don't push myself above my limits how can I become more powerful. How can I reach further than I already have. The first time I felt I had made a real difference was whenever I was in college.
   In college, my two years I had to fight my way to survive. There was something else I did though to you which required a great deal of my time, and that was assisting International students. I had grown fond of the international students almost immediately. Some of them had already learned enough English, that they could communicate back and forth. The American language proves difficult, in fact it's considered the second most difficult language to learn with the exception of Chinese or Mandarin. In fact, the first two international students I befriended was a young 16 year old girl from Vietnam and a boy from 17 year old China. Their friendship will be one I carry with me for most of my life. There was also another boy from Columbia, but I'll talk about him last. 
   The first time I met the Vietnamese girl, I bumped into her outside of the first building. She had stumbled and dropped her books the first time, and I helped her pick them up. You would think it sounded like something out of a silly student romance type of thing. Without even introducing ourselves, we went our separate ways. Later on that day, I had seen her sitting by the boy from China holding his guitar. I thought very little of it at the time, and continued on with my own day as nothing ever happened. On Wednesday, when I went back to class I bumped into her again by accident on my way out. This time, she didn't drop her books but she giggled as I apologized. I didn't see her on Friday, but on the next week I almost bumped into her again. This time I had managed to stop myself by the door if she came around the corner. When she saw me, she left and I told her this time I was ready. She smiled, and somehow I felt the need to introduce myself to her.
   After introducing myself, she told me her nickname was Jenny and she was a student from Vietnam. I was surprised, because I remember that someone had mentioned to me that our Community College had been ranked one of the top colleges for international students. I smiled, and we waved goodbye only to bump into each other later on. Around lunch time, I was sitting on the couch over looking outside the glass windows at the pond when she came up to me and sat down beside me. She had immediately asked me if I wouldn't mind if she sat down beside me. For some strange reason, it didn't seem to bother me at all.
   We shared lunch and the boy with the guitar showed up and sat down on the couch on the other side. He smiled and gave a slight bow and started eating his lunch. When he had finished, she asked if he wouldn't mind playing something. He shook his head without making a sound. I didn't think any thing about it at the time, but later on I had realized it was my presence which had made him uncomfortable. Jenny and I, spent a day together on a Thursday after I realized we shared two classes. This was the eye opener when he showed up at the same time and refused. She looked at him and he shook his head again. She looked back at me and spoke softly.
"Landon, Ji'un is afraid to play his guitar around Americans."
   I was surprised when she told me this and it took me awhile to process this. Jiun had not spoken a single word to me because he was afraid. Afraid of being judged by an American who only had heard the bad side of Chinese Culture. I had to think about this for a while, so I told them I would be heading to class soon. I excused myself, and the next day I decided to sneak over behind one of the doors to listen to Ji'un, but a friend blew my cover before he started playing. I saw him again outside on a deck overlooking the pond with tears streaking down his face.
   "Ji'un are you all right?" I asked him as I sat down beside him.
   "I dishonored my family by letting you leave yesterday. I had told Jenny not to say anything, but she was sure you wouldn't mind." Ji'un replied to me.
   "Ji'un, I shouldn't have left like that after hearing that, but it gave me something to think about. You didn't dishonor anyone, I chose to leave on my own. You didn't chase me away."
   It was obvious to me then that he was a bit sensitive. I felt badly for him, as it was mostly my fault for leaving so suddenly. I wasn't sure if the time had to process what she said to me. I didn't know what to say to the international student. At this point though, I realized that the best thing I could do was tell him that I really wanted to listen to play music from this homeland. He seemed surprised, because most Americans don't seem to interested in other countries. I took it upon myself, the next week to sit beside them.
   During lunch, I met them at the usual spot. I took my seat next to Jenny, and after eating he reached for his guitar. He took pause, but I told him that I wanted to hear him play. He built up his nerve to strike his first chord. He started playing, and I was blown away by the beautiful sound coming from his acoustic guitar. There was no other way to describe him then he was phenomenal. And all of my time from hearing people play, I've never heard anyone play like that to this day. He had decided to play the first song he had ever learned from his grandfather after learning how to play the guitar. It was instrumental song passed down through his family. I was so impressed with the way he played, I couldn't say a single word to him at first.
   Jenny grabbed hold of my arm, and asked me up front what I thought about his playing. I told him honestly, I thought he was one of the best guitarists I've ever heard play. He smiled and thanked me, giving me another bow. I regularly started visiting him, listening to them play and sing. There was a joyful spirit coming from him, I recognized. He had become comfortable and I forgot to ask me questions about the United States. Most of which we're actually common knowledge to natives. I had realized that this time, we judge groups too harshly sometimes. He was kind and well-mannered, showing constant respect. He told me, that his parents had told him manners were something he should carry with him everywhere he goes.
   Before I knew it, Ji'un and I had become such good friends that some instructors mistook me for an international student. A lot of time had passed, but I started befriending the international students. They became a very special part of my life, and one of the funniest ones as I got a lot of questions about the English language. My female Vietnamese friend, even went as far as asking me the difference between the words Beach and Bitch. She had told me she had gotten funny looks am when she used the word beach, but when she said it I realized her accent sounded like the other one. The Vietnamese typically speak with small words grouped up. This means they speak a lot faster than we do. When the word came out, because of her accent I could see the class laughing. This is a harsh reality for us, because we often mistakenly judge people because of the way they look or speak. This is a serious flaw which should be corrected. I obviously talked her the difference reluctantly, but it was necessary. This had actually gotten me some credit, as some of the people in the international building felt uncomfortable about explaining the very different meanings. Around the same time, my Chinese guitarist friend had also started talking about me with them.
   I was approached one day by one of the international administration. She introduced herself by name, but I didn't know who she was at the time. She had thanked me for working with International students, and making friends with them so easily. She started talking about the difficulty most of them had an adapting to the very different life in the United States. Also how they had to leave several friends behind for a period of two to four years. Only going home during the summer, but not even that in some cases. I told her I appreciated it, but I was just doing what came natural to me. I told her I had become curious about the international students, but I have never imagined how many I had become connected to.
   She shook my hand, and left when one of my professors came up to me. She smiled at me, and told me she overheard what we were talking about. She told me, that was the head administrator for the International students. She said that the head administrator rarely spoke to anyone outside of the international building. I told her, I didn't have any idea who she was. My professor explained, that my actions had opened up a lot of eyes and it gave them the idea to create a brother or sister program where a student can befriend the international students and help them adapt to the U.S. life. It already been programs like this tested, but some of them didn't appear to be as effective. They have been carefully monitoring me after they learned about the way I am bonded with International students.
   During my second year, I was approached by the administrator again, with the proposal that she wanted to put me to the test. She had given me a list of names, of international students who were in my classes. She told me not to push, but to see if I can befriend several of these International students. The results were successful as I befriended over 12 of them. 6 who I was particularly close to during my second year. This year was much easier on me than my first year was. I was considered behind, even though I scored well on the beginning exams. It wasn't totally my fault though, because the public school I had come from caused me to lag. Nevertheless though, I tried my best and turned out to be very successful in my venture. It was unfortunate to the end of the year, that the flood nearly ruined me. The end of this year, I felt a tugging at my soul when I have to leave my friends. I knew that most of them would end up going home miles away. This doesn't stop my heart to her mind from thinking about. I often wonder how they're doing now. If only I had the Looking-Glass where I could watch them from afar.