Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

People will see me laughing.Especially at school.But when I am home I am not like that.I am very depressed.Many people say that,when you are laughing you definetly hide something.And I really do.I hide my fears and tears from everybody.Me and my sisters and my little brother,we are born without love.And that means that my parents don’t like each other.They argue alot,and they are like kids.They don’t think about us at all.I have a boyfriend,he is Norwegian and I am Serb.I meet him long time and we was good friends,then we fall in love.I never mean that I will have a boyfriend cause many people told me that I am ugly,and when someone tells me that I am pretty that’s something unusual to me.When I have him now,people wants me to we be their friends.My mother didn’t like me at all,she would almost never buy clothes to me and she would never give me some advice.I grow alone.My mother always thinks about other mens.When she speak with my fathers childhood friend D.S she melting.That’s sad for seeing.She complain to him very much,how is my father stupid,and that he always make problems.She also had affair with taxi driver (also dad friends) but she never tells that cause she said that’s a lie.My school friends from primary school would tell me that they was seeing my mum and him together in town all the time.And when stuff hooked,my father found out,that was bombastic.Arguing,beating,bad words,swearing.Then neighbourhood would talk behind our back,and kids didn’t want to talk with us at school.Then we moved to other country.My mother was fired,and we was out of money.Then suddenly my mum tell us that we move to Sweden.That was suddenly.I thought she lie,because she is big liar.And sometimes I lie too,but she too much.(if there is a red flower she would say it’s blue and flower can talk,and flower can fly).When I moved in Sweden it was hell.I didn’t understand anything,even not my sisters and my little brother.My hell just started when I moved in Sweden.My hell started when I back from Sweden.I lived life full with lies,and others wouldn’t handle this.My father was big liar too,gambler too,and selfish too.Until he got brain attack he is worse.In Sweden he smoke the most expensive cigarettes and we wouldn’t save some money cause him.He eat meet,the most expensive food,and we would eat pasta whole life.In Serbia (where I am now) he have room,his space.But not we kids.My father had spent millions on roulettes and poker.He never wanted to restore house,because the house where I live is old.He would always say that he don’t have enough.And he always laughing to someone,he say that nobody is like him.He says that he was a best and clever men then everybody.And he speaks something that never happened (I think that cause he had a stroke).
Now,when I finish high school they waiting to I marry and move to Norway and build them house,and send them every month.My mum and dad are not my mum and dad.Every kid would be ashamed to have parents like I have.