Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I promised my self i would do better but that promise im constantly breaking. Im constantly aching my own spirit im breaking and i cant stop making excuses for myself. Im tearing me apart i have become a producer of demented art. Everything i make has to do with the destruction of my heart i build it back up then it gets knocked back down. I get tired of fixing it then i let it fall apart. Whats the point of trying to fix a broken heart if when its in the middle of healing it gets torn down again. I keep wasting money on medical tape and badges to put it back together. I buy more and more protection i build my walls up higher only for it all to be burnt up by fire. My heart has desires it has hates my heart has problems it constantly brakes. My heart is fragile everyone around me looks hostile. Every body judges me for my style all the while they never bothered to look at they're damn self. What gives people the right to start a fight when there never was one to be fought. I once thought everyone was ment be friends but thats before my heart shattered into a million pieces a billion of times by so many people i cant even count. i have even broken my own heart. consistently i set my self up for failure. i cant help but tell myself im a damn failure because all i can do is repeat my actions and expect different results im the definition of insanity. Forget about humanity in that category i don't fit there's no place in time in space that i fit because im extraterrestrial,abnormal,indifferent and i dont fucking belong. Dont even bother asking me whats wrong whats the point in telling if you can't do shit about it? Damn right im a psycho path im out of it out of my mind matter of fact thats my problem im literally not out of my mind im traped in my damn skull. I just want to put a gun up to my head and splatter me all over the walls so im free instead of trying to break my skull on the inside because its just causing me to have a migraine. My head is so inescapable its like my personal hell my personal padded cell the only thing i can call mine but i don't appreciate it i would gladly break it. My brain is like my doctor at a fucking mental institution continuously electrifying me with the words "whats the point of living if you dont have a purpose?"-"whats the point of living if you dont have a purpose?"-"whats the point of"- I FUCKING GET IT I DONT HAVE A PURPOSE I MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD "good girl shock therapy is over heheheh😈". I swear if the pain from inside my brain keeps falling like frozen rain onto my heart i fear i will have a cold soul i act like a care about me but at this point i don't. Can i rot in this padded cell any faster? Can i please stop breathing now. I have cuts on my arms from all my attempts to try to feel something. I feel no physical pain i am numb. I have no tears left to cry. Please end me someone. IM TIRED OF BEING USELESS AND IM TIRED OF BEING ALIVE. "No body can save you from yourself exept you...... Do it take more pills end it" no i refuse "take the gun end it" no i gotta stay strong "then its back to shock therapy for you young lady" p-please n-no "im sorry i cant stop until YOU BREAK!!!"
NOOOOOO😱