Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

I am at a stage of 'in-betweens'. A transition from who I was to who I'm going to be. I am leaving a lot of things behind; what I used to think, how I used to feel, what I used to be. 
It's the end of my former life, my old self. Something like a tree shedding its old dead leaves to prepare for new arrivals; for a new season of life. 
It's both scary and exciting not knowing what the new season holds or what the next moment might bring or what beauty or ugliness will end up surprising me when I am least expecting it. But this transition is necessary for me. It's time. 
This period of transition, has brought new discoveries in so many ways. I am surprised by what is happening to me internally, I am surprised by what I am doing in regards to what's happening internally, and I am surprised by what I am growing into. 
It's like the master craftsman is painstakingly and lovingly chipping away at the unwanted bits and pieces of my being; trying to create a masterpiece or rather trying to uncover the masterpiece hidden within. It's scary not knowing what He's trying to unveil. But still, it's also exciting to find out the end result. 
It has come to the stage where I'm tired. Tired of getting cut and bruised, wincing and sometimes even writhing in pain. I'm just tired of the same old song and dance. Now I am waiting to be free to start anew. Time to write a new book. 
At some point, I want to come back to this and see what happened in the interim period. How far I came. How much everything has changed - if at all. 
Life is uncertain. Unpredictable rather. But then I guess, that is the beauty of life. You learn to accept the uncertainty. And then, love it, however gradually. Because sooner or later you understand; understand that you can't swim if you are too busy fighting the currents. And at some point, you learn to stop being afraid. You befriend your fears, you master the challenges and you own your life. 
That's what made me realise that life is not about struggling to survive the setbacks. It's about learning to welcome the challenges, and going right through the core of it, and coming out on the other side. 
There is a high possibility I'd be bruised, battered and drained. But a winner, a fighter, a lover of life, with all it's colours, with all it's beauty and ugliness, is a lover till the end.