Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Why does losing you hurt but feel so good at the same time. I gave it all to you. When you began to take my time,   my friends,  my passions and dreams, I let you do it because of the great love I felt for you. I bowed to your wishes in everything because I have for so long wanted to be with you,  I wanted so much for you to just love me.
I was blinded and refused to see any wrong in you. I easily forgave you everything but when things began to go wrong and I could no longer fit into the neat little mold you made for me,  you turned against me, you stopped playing the role you had been playing and your true colors began to emerge. 
Call it blinded by love,  peering through rose colored glasses,  whatever you want to call it,  it crushed me to realize just how selfish you have been. It broke me when you said you were abandoning me. 
I kept searching, even still, for what I did wrong but it's clear to me now,  it wasn't my wrong. My conscience is clear.  Life unfolds in panterns and in ways that make little or no sense to me,  but I know that everything happens for a reason; even this. 
I am spent and I'm watching the clock for the deadline you have set. Three months you gave me to prepare and the days can't seem to go by fast enough for me now that I know it's truly over. 
It was interesting having you here with me. It took me through a gammit of feelings and emotions, frustrations and agonies I have never experienced before. I would never wish pain on anyone to teach them such incredible lessons,  but it has been a teacher. 
Maybe one day,  when I have the chance to really love someone,  I will remember this,  but until then,  just for now,  this time is going,  the day is going and the moment is gone. 
I'm done.