Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

In my earlier years, I would've never  thought that the people closest to me would've turned their backs on me. Little did I know. From the time I could remember my parents always told me that they would do anything for me, stand up for me and behind me at all costs, die for me or whatever it took to protect my well-being or support my best interest. That was until they discovered their little girl had transformed into an unacceptable and inappropriate piece of shit drug addict. Today, I'm nothing more than dead to those people and at times the harrowing thought makes me wish that I was never born. 
As I fall back and reflect upon these horrible realities, it really makes me think long and hard. I am a parent and I love my son more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my whole entire life...maybe that's because he is my whole entire life and there is nothing in this world that could ever throw a barrier in between the unconditional love I have for that young man NO MATTER WHAT! I've been told that I can't guarantee or say that for sure simply because I have never been pushed to such a limit by anyone to  a degree that I had allegedly pushed my family to as a result of my flaws, failures and ultimate fuck ups. Limits? Call me crazy but there are no such thing as limits when you add unconditional love to the mix. There are many, many people in this world who are just not fit to be parents for many various reasons - and those who have a zero tolerance and a shitload of restrictions in their expectations and beliefs, well there you have it. Enough said.
I know there will come a time in my life that my son, JJ will have me at the end of my rope on wits end and my patience will be put to its greatest test ever. I pray to God that he will NEVER in a million years have to experience the agony I once suffered for an immensely long period of time. It's my biggest fear and worst nightmare ever but God forbid if it ever came true you can best believe that I will never turn my back on him the way my family did to me. 💚
This story is dedicated to my only son JJ. I hope one day you will be a simple man. I love you so much more than you will ever know my child.