Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I used to have so much motivation in my life. Always determined to take on the world and everything in between. I had more energy than I knew what to do with. I was grateful for everything I had in my life - big and small. Oftentimes, it was the simplest things that meant the world to me. Even today they still do, probably more so than ever before. You learn to appreciate far more when you're on the verge of losing everything. Especially when you find yourself sleeping in your car at night. 
I used to light up the rooms with my genuine smile. It was noticeably real and that's what made it so illuminating. I never knew how to fabricate a smile until recently, and it was only to protect my son from distinguishing the pain that lied behind it. Who was I fooling, he already knew. If anyone knows me it's him. He is the much younger, male version of myself and we know each other far more than anyone else ever could. 
I used to laugh endlessly, at the silliest things most of the time. I would laugh at my own jokes, I was that girl who would bust out laughing out of nowhere when the thought of something hilarious would call to mind three days after it happened. 
Anymore, I'm neutral. I don't really smile or laugh but I haven't been crying neither. Most people would define it as "hanging in there" and that's all I have going for me at this time. Now I can go back to my job full-time and be that workaholic that I once was.