Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

Story 2

Every now and then we feel we are faced with such a great test in our lives that we can't go on. We feel trapped and it seems there is nothing we can do about it. 

I heard someone once say, "My problem is a big problem. It's bigger than yours. Because it's mine." As human beings, we like to be in control, and we normally panic when things don't go our way. I know someone just like that. 

"Cry Me A River"

Seven years ago, a woman named Kay who was expecting a baby girl had an almost perfect pregnancy. She rarely experienced any morning sickness and was able to go to work up to the day she gave birth. Her labour was over within four hours and the baby was born healthy. Taking inspiration from the story of Sumayyah binti Khabbab, the first martyr in the Islamic tradition, Kay and her husband named their baby girl Sumayyah. 

Kay's family grew from having two boys to a family of five. As Kay and her husband both worked away from home, they engaged the services of a live-in helper to help take care of the baby. A few weeks before the arrival of the baby, the helper arrived. Everything seemed perfect. But it turned out, God had other plans. 

After her first week, Husna, the foreign helper decided she missed home too much and demanded to be sent back. Even the cute baby girl and the monthly salary could not entice her to fulfill her original commitment. "I miss my mother. I want to go home," she would cry daily. You would think that Husna was the baby in the house from all her whining and crying. Her crying was more annoying than the baby's. 

Kay, who was still in her confinement, cried silently, thinking of the deposit she had paid to bring the helper into the country and the lengthy process of getting a replacement. "Who will take care of baby Sumayyah when I return to work? Why is Husna doing this to me?" These questions filled Kay's head. Sometimes she felt like she had hit a brick wall with Husna as nothing she said would persuade the girl to stay. Family and friends sympathised and adviced the new mother to remain calm to avoid post-partum stress. Finally, with a heavy heart, Kay decided to let the helper go, whilst reasoning with herself that every cloud has a silver lining. She was just grateful that the helper's agent was honest and returned her deposit. The family then hired a helper through other means. 

As baby Sumayyah turned three weeks old, her cries became more intense. She never seemed to stop crying. Whether it was before or after feeding, daytime or night-time, the baby would not settle. Kay was distraught and baffled. Her breasts were painfully engorged; a condition she did not encounter after the birth of her two sons. Nursing sessions were torturous for her. She felt she had failed as a mother. 

"Why am I unable to nurse this baby like I did with her brothers?" she cried to herself. She tried her utmost best to be positive. "This too will pass, God willing," she kept telling herself. 

Unfortunately for her, the situation got so bad that she started to have fevers and chills. A visit to the doctor's confirmed that Kay had mastitis; a breast infection due to blocked milk ducts. Fortunately, it was curable through continued nursing (although intensely painful)  and antibiotics. 

Still without a helper to assist her, Kay completed her 44 days of confinement period (Malays are normally housebound for 44 days during confinement), with the help of her loving husband and family members. At the end of her confinement, she gleefully planned a short trip to the mall with her children, accompanied by her mother to ensure that everything was under control. "Thank God. Finally I can enjoy a breath of fresh air," thought Kay. 

We plan, and God also plans. And He, is the best planner. 

Soon after enjoying lunch with the children at her favourite restaurant, she felt some discomfort on the left side of her abdomen. At first she thought it was because she had skipped breakfast that morning and she decided to not pay attention to it. But the discomfort did not go away the next day, nor the day after. In fact, it got worse. 

Kay is someone who has never liked visiting doctors. She prefers to self-medicate, especially when it comes to coughs and colds. Nevertheless, the abdominal pain was now keeping her awake at night and her family members insisted that she sees a doctor, whether she liked it or not. Left with no choice, she agreed to go the next day. 

"You have an ovarian cyst on your left ovary that is causing the pain. It will have to be surgically removed," was the doctor's diagnosis. "I am prescribing this medicine for you to take over the next week as it may help reduce the size of the cyst to avoid surgery. Let's pray that it works on you."

Hearing that, Kay was devastated. She tried to control her emotions but failed. She sobbed and clung to her husband in the doctor's clinic. As fate would have it, the cyst did not reduce in size and surgery was scheduled. While Muslims all over the world celebrated the coming Holy month of Ramadhan, Kay and her husband prepared for the first day of fasting within the hospital's four walls. 

"How beautiful is God's plan. Your surgery is on the first day of Ramadhan. Make lots of prayers. The day is full of blessings," the doctor consoled Kay the night before the surgery. 

The next morning, scared and semi-conscious on the operating table, Kay turned her heart fully to God. She had never been under the knife before. "Perhaps God wants to teach me the meaning of faith," Kay whispered to herself just before she went under. A few hours passed and the surgery was completed successfully. 

After her surgery, life began to get back to normal. Suddenly, the skies looked brighter and bluer again though Kay remained slightly anxious as she waited for her follow-up appointment with the doctor. 

"First, the good news. Your cyst is benign. It's not cancerous," the doctor told Kay with a smile. Kay was relieved to hear the news but she sensed there was a 'but' somewhere. She looked at the doctor, anxious to hear what else he had to say. In a slow and calm manner, the doctor said, "However, the cyst was quite large and it had pressed on the left fallopian tube and twisted it. Unfortunately, we had to cut the tube in order to get to the cyst. This may reduce your chances of conceiving another baby."

The doctor's words struck terror in Kay's heart. She felt numb for a few seconds, then grief overtook her. She let out a painful howl. It felt like she had cried a river of tears since Husna, the helper had left a few months before. It seemed like there was no end to her trials, they kept coming one after another. 

Back at her house, she poured out her heart to her mother, sobbing uncontrollably. "Calm down. You should be grateful. God has blessed you with three children. There are many other people who are childless," said her mother as she tried to reason with her. 

......... 

Seven years later, Kay was blessed with another son. She had spent a few years prior wondering whether she and her husband would be blessed with another child as she knew the chances were quite slim after a cystectomy. 

The problem she faced when Sumayyah was born had taught her to be patient, to be content with what she had, and to trust in God's plans. Looking back, she felt she had benefitted enormously from the post-natal trials and tribulations she went through. Things that she thought she would never be able to endure, turned out to be not so bad after all, provided that she submit and ask for God's help. 

As she was nursing her newborn son, she recalled the words of a wise person to her. "Often when we are faced with challenges, we think that all the pressure is on us to work things out. With God, it is the opposite. When He tests us, He expects us to raise our hands and seek His help. He is always there, closer than our jugular vein."

"How true!" Kay thought. She admits that sometimes when life throws her challenges, her immediate reaction is, "I've got this, I can manage this," forgetting that she needs to seek from the source of help - God. 

When they lost the nanny despite their pre-planning, God taught her that He had a better plan. He showed her that life with three children is possible without a helper. The whole family has now learned to chip in with the housework. Their children have become more responsible because of their chores. When one door closes, others open. They learned to better organize their time and their home. As an alternative to a full-time helper, they hired a part-time. 

When she was faced with pain and illness during her confinement, it made her appreciate the health that she had enjoyed throughout most of her life. She realised that being stressed would not solve the problem. They can have the best medicines and the best doctors in the world, but at the end of the day, God is the ultimate healer. She learned to place full trust in God, to always have high hopes of Him, and to lower her expectations of mere mortals. She felt ashamed at how she whined and complained through the agony when a true believer would persevere and be patient at the onset of a trial. It is easier to see the wisdom in hindsight, after the problem has passed. 

Once again, God showed His ultimate power and wisdom by granting them a new baby after seven years. She and her husband were elated to learn about her pregnancy as they knew that the chances were quite low. Both the pregnancy and birth went quite well, and she tried her best to apply her learnings from the tribulations she had gone through seven years earlier. It was not easy, but each time she was faced with an unexpected challenge, she would think about the reward she would get from being patient. This time, their baby had prolonged jaundice for about four weeks. Each time she took the baby to the hospital for a blood test, she would treat it as a mother-baby bonding time. 

"If God puts us through this, He will help us get through this," she would tell herself over and over. Having this mindset has helped her to keep calm at all times and to not panic.