Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

They say, "Money can't buy you happiness",  it's true, but I am learning that there are edges to that and it is not such a neat clear idea. I mean,   I've seen the evidence of that truth and have heard many stories about people with stupid amounts of money that are still miserable and unhappy. It has been a particular part of my religion, and the dangers of being purpose driven by money are very real.  Again,  I have to say "But" because living in this world makes me responsible for things that only money can provide my fulfillment of the responsibilities lain upon me. I know this for a fact,  the lack of money can sure add the pressure. 
I haven't had much experience navigating through the ends and outs of budgeting. Ok,  I'll keep it real,  I have had no experience in it.  In prison,  there are no need to worry about it.  Everything was taken care of for me. You can read books,  take classes,  listen to seminars,  bit until you have an account of your own to manage and see how it really goes it makes very little difference. 
I recently lost my job,  my car,  and the girl I was dating all in the same week. I was devastated. I like to believe that fundamentally I am a stable person and have a healthy respect when it comes to trying to find my place in this world,  but losing my income,  the burden of getting my car fixed,  paying my rent,  buying food and taking care of everything from the lights all the way down to the phone bill left me empty and in a state so far removed from happiness it made me question everything. 
Money and the need for it has become such a distraction I find it not only hard,  but damn near impossible to focus on what truly makes me happy. 
No one said freedom would be easy.