Book Review: All The Bright Places By. Jennifer Niven. Depression, Anxiety, Suicide, Labeling And His Last Wanderer. Read Count : 101

Category : Blogs

Sub Category : relationships
I Just finished this book with titled All The Bright Places by. Jennifer Niven. I thought it's just a simple one but my heart skipped a beat when I sink deeper into Finch emotional character. It has something to teach/tell us about suicide, depression, anxiety and labeling. Like I was thinking about it many times in my head long time ago and few weeks ago. This books was little bit darker for me in my opinion. The two characters has their own emotional problem. Finch was a "I don't care anymore" type of person and always wanted to die. He was afraid with labeling but he deep down knows he was into something.

And Violet was one of another depression character who wanted to kill herself at the bell tower. But her life has changed when she met Finch. Finch helped her to find herself again, her true color and she even back to drive again. But as far as Violet found her way back to herself, she started to losing Finch. He was sinking deeper and deeper into his mind and his other side of his world. He reached out for help but sadly nobody can read that sign. And at the end, Violet found him dead. He finished his wanderer project and killed himself to find his own peace. He was doing his adventure by himself and become a wandered without Violet anymore.

This is so sad, isn't it? People like Finch, Violet, people like me or us who were battling the same thing called depression and all kind of mental health problem. They were fighting every each minute with their demon. They scared, they screamed out loud even louder but nobody can hear them. They need help but don't know how. Every night they were crying, bleeding but when they failed and their demon took over their soul, they chose a different path. Suicide.

I remember Chester Bennington. One More Light song. Chris Cornell. The unforgettable legend, and my forever man, Kurt Cobain. And long lists. The list number was growing every minute. Some people could be sober, healed, or relapse. It was like a wheel which always rolling and rolling back to you. It could hits you back anytime, anywhere. Pretty much like I've been experienced it before.

Well, Finch had ups and down emotional wanderer. One trigger made him totally lose track of himself when his friends called him "FREAK" at school. It made him drifting away and lose track of himself AGAIN so he decided to kill himself after his birthday party with Violet.

FREAK. I will never forget that word in my entire life.

At one point of my life, I've reached into my darkside. It happened at 2016 during August or September maybe. I was depressed. I lost myself again. I have nothing left to fight anymore. I battled with my physical and emotional problem at work, I have no friends. Friends at work was like an enemies. Nobody wanted to talk to me. I've been bullied and harassed by them mentally. They were looking for me when I they needed my help. If there's nothing to ask they would avoided me and let me eat my lunch by myself at 1st floor while they were all eating together at the rooftop.

I worked full of pressure with that circumstances. My boss, let's call him Mr. B, realized that something strange happened to me. Instead of asking what happens he choose another way to trial me. One moment when I made mistake, he called me into his office room privately and gave me questions with a judgement intonation and mimic.

"Yesterday before you leave the office why didn't you say goodbye to your co-workers instead of just went out like that without permission?! As you see, there is no people on the 1st floor. What happened if a thief come and steal our stuffs?! Could you replace all the stolen stuffs?! This is office not a cafe so you can come and go as long as you wanted!" He banged his desk in front of my face. "What's your explanation for that?," he asked me.

I said, "I'm sorry. I forgot and I don't know about it." It's not my honest answer Mr. B. For the God sake I did it because I wasn't invisible to them. So I think when the office hours ended it won't affected them if I'm gone. But I was wrong. They told Mr. B about it so he fed up and it made him had something to kill me.

Mr. B mad when I give that explanation to him. I know he was smart. He realized something happened with me and my answer didn't make sense or pleased him. So he asked me again. "Let me ask you another question. Did you had a fight with your co- workers here? Answer me, no lies."

I said, "No."

"And why don't you getting around with them? You were avoiding them and I could see it from CCTV everything, Vi. You can't lie to me."

"No. There's nothing happened between us."

"If there's nothing happened why you acted like that?! Don't you realized you looked like a FREAK PERSON?"

I was stoned, numb and holding my tears at that time. I can't say anything to pleading myself. I wanted to explain I'm not freak. I'M NOT FREAK. But my tongue tight. I can't say anything except accepted his statement and his new labeling me as a freak.

"YOU'RE FREAK!" He said it twice in front of my face. I can;t remember anything anymore. He looked down on me after that moment and many things happened like a drama so I choose to leave that sh*ty place.

But I would never forget his questions, his reaction and how they were all treating me like I wasn't existed anymore. I would never forget it all. Doesn't mean I was holding a grudge into them. I let God do His part anyway. It was just a reminder for me for not doing the same things to other like the way they do.

Disappointed? Sad? Holding grudges toward them, Of course. I was so depressed at that moment but nobody noticed me while I was waving to them to get them help. They did nothing and let me down. But after all that had happened, with all the blessings GOD gives back to me, I was learning to forgive them and let GOD do his part. Well, I believe karma would work it's own way.

The thing is, watch your words to others. Because You never know what people were battling for. You never know what kind of monsters they need to face for every single minutes. So please, be nice to everyone.

-Vivian Lin

Pictures taken by me.

www.instagram.com/dearagony15

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  • Jul 07, 2018

  • Jul 07, 2018

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