Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Her heart is broken. Again. Broken by the same guy. Again. 
Did he really break her heart over and over again? Has he got that much power over her? 
Or was she the one who kept breaking her own heart? The one who kept making excuses for why he kept treating her so poorly. The one who kept hoping over and over again that things would magically change for the better on its own. Hmm.... 
She is responsible for herself. She has choices just like everyone else. It is up to her to show others how she ought to be treated right. 
But she didn't do that, did she? She fucked up. 
She was the one who misplaced parts of her self worth. She was the one who has been lying to herself. She was the one who has been hating herself for staying loyal to a man and a relationship that was slowly killing her inside. And instead of taking accountability for what she was doing to herself, she blamed it all on him. 
Yup, she totally fucked up. 
Her heart says, "I care." Her head says, "I don't give a fuck."
Her heart says, "I want to stay and see this through." Her head says, "Fuck this shit!"
Her heart says, "I've come so far to give up now." Her head says, "I'm not doing this anymore."
Her heart says, "I love him too much to let him go." Her head says, "I'm done."
Right now, she is stuck. Stuck between what her heart wants and what her head declines. Stuck between holding on and letting go. Stuck between the choice of freeing herself from pain and driving herself insane. Stuck in the war between her heart and her head. 
There's just too much noise. She can't think. She can't even decide. 
She's royally fucked up.