Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

 I feel trapped. I hope you know what that feels like. Sorry, I mean... I hope you understand. Though I suppose that's no better. I feel caged with the air running out. I feel trapped with muggers coming about. Like I'm drowning and the darkness is pulling me down. I can't escape this madness, maybe I don't want to.
 I've been scared for so long, sometimes I don't even know why. I tell myself it's been this way forever, that I'm a coward by nature but it's a lie. It was a long time ago but I still remember being brave.
 The world is my nightmare because things can fall to pieces at any moment. What I fear in truth, honesty and in its' actual form is uncertainty. If's and but's can drive you nuts indeed. For madness is encroaching on the banks of my sanity. I wish I knew what to do to boldly face uncertainty. But people can be cruel and snap at you for no reason. They can judge you on site without giving you a chance. And make the wrong choice, take the wrong chance in life and you could lose it all. When the ball is in the air a sudden gust can blow it all away. How can you overcome everything that can go wrong when you have to accept it as a possibility?
 Faith, you say? What happens when two people need the same job under the same circumstances and they both have faith. One gets it and the other fails. What if the happiness of others comes before yours? Is there a point in fighting if there is always someone more deserving, someone in greater need. If happiness is unattainable because others are more desperate what is there to fight for? What drives you if you know your suffering shall never end?