Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

That which passes through my head ceases for but a moment as my mind is jarred by a single thought. This sudden realization that I hold no identity. That essentially when people leave and I am alone I stop and wait around for someone to return so I can start being again. I waste time, sleep, walk, watch television, movies or play my games. Minutes to hours, hours sometimes into days, my life on hold because no one's there to live it for. I am undefined, every word I speak and mannerism upon which I take is at the behest of those around me whether they know it or not. My actions alone nothing more than developed time wasters or memories I desperately cling to.
 I look for frowns and sorrows, confusion and pain, oh how I hear the lost calling. I step in and make sure they know they are not alone, for twenty years I have done this. Not once ever my own. For this fountain of kindness and care and seemingly infinite love implored me so. But where does it stem from where does it start? For these days the fountain runs dry and I ama delapidated shell of a person once amazing, a mere child who knew who he was.
  And I have strayed ten million steps from the paths laid down for me, blind to my destiny. Only seeing the broken and lonely who needed me. In this desert where I now lie my fountain hath finally dried and a question is asked of me resounding in my head as such:
 Who are you to demand such gifts, such everlasting compassiom, love, kindness, and care? Who are you to be worthy? Who are you?
 As a child I stood there so confident, so certain. I answered defiantly and without hesitation and earned such a treasure. Now, here I stand in the desert this question before me, who am I? And to this at the age of twenty-six I can only answer, "I don't know, I don't remember." The waters will not flow until the answer is given. I cannot serve anyone until the waters come and the path on which I belong is far from view.
Remember, please remember. Who are you?