Category : Blogs

Sub Category : World

Love, it's a strange word isn't it? You either know what it is or you're trying to find it. It's a humans way or survining. Wither it be love from a family member, friend or even more than that. But not everyone has love, some people have lost love, some maybe don't want to find it. 
I use to fall in and out of love so easily untill I got a taste of what love really is, it was the day of summer camp when I first saw him. I was too shy to talk to anyone so I never introduced myself untill high school. We started dating. It was a dream come true but. I had never been in a relationship before with someone else, I was with someone for 4 years and we barley talked. I don't know why we saw eachother. We were completely different. So when I finally got to be with him i didn't know what I was doing. I had no real experiance. We ended. 4 years down the line and into 5th year, 5 years crushing over the same boy I was too scared to tell him how I felt. But then it came to me. I got the guts and told him. Months wend by and we had the most ups and downs a relationship could have, arguing, ignoring eachother, and even getting cheated on. I had trust issues. But could you blame me? I couldn't go a second without thoughts running threw my head telling me he dosent love me. Making me feel sick to the stomach that he's cheating again. He said he has changed. But he said that all the times he did it. And I believed him everytime because he is the one. If anyone else would have cheated on me I would have left the 1st time. I don't know what it is about him. I have just really really fallen for him. We have the most amazing days. We come up with cute things like a hand shake but using our noses. We play fight and end up in a kissing mantion, we could lie there for days on end just looking I to eachother eyes, he is the most precious thing when he sleeps. I just think It's adorable. We nibble eachother for fun I know it sounds weird. But it puts a smile on our face no matter what the mood is. It's been 11 months now. We seem to be doing fine. I'm on holiday just now with my family. He hasn't cheated on me for 5 months now. Not that I know of. We haven't been talking much since my holiday. I don't know why I feel like we're falling apart. Maybe it's just the distance? When I come home from my holiday me him and my mum and step dad are going on a trip to a theme park. Hopefully we put this week in the past and enjoy the holiday.

So the holiday was fun. But it was all for nothing. He has a badminton competition coming up. And the day he came back he told me he kissed a girl there. He said it was meaning less. And I stayed with him, I promised myself I wouldn't give him another chance but I did. I need help.