Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

he had once stolen my heart without a moment's notice. looking back at it now, I should have seen it coming. standing on the outside, gazing in, it was only bound to happen. the whole atmosphere between us seemed like it was made for blossoming love. every little moment just added up to this monumental passion. I cherished every little thing. from the way he fell asleep watching his favorite tv shows in the middle of the day with his face nuzzled in the crook of my neck, to the way he made an adventure out of every thing from running errands to random car rides to trekking in nature. he made me see the beauty in even the most gargantuan disasters. that life is just one big glorious mess and if you look at the entirety of it you miss the small things that make it all worth while. it feels like its been forever since we last embraced but I can picture it in my head as if it was moments ago the way his eyes watched me as if I was the most precious thing to ever be in his presence. he was the shining glory in a storm I never thought would end. he held my hand and showed me how to make my own path. he showed me that sometimes you need to learn to support yourself when others dont. always giving advice he never took. sometimes I wish i could go back and just experience those little carefree moments for just a little bit longer. look into his eyes and see that undying compassion we once had. to run my thumb along his jaw and hear his voice as he told me i was beautiful. I miss his smile and the way he smelled. the way he held me as if he would never let me go. but slowly we both let go until we were out of reach. it was a love that seemed to get buried by life itself. by fear and caution. by hurt and betrayal. by past experiences. if only we had been brave enough to jump out of the plane. to risk falling. for once was but tender love and kindness is brief spoken words and sideways glances. when hours felt like months without him, months now feel like hours. sometimes I forget just how great our love was, until i see his face or hear his name, and my heart drowns in sorrow ridden memories . the boy who stole my heart and never gave it back. the boy who's name will always strike a part I tried to bury deep within me. to the man I showed pieces of me that I thought no longer existed. vulnerable and exposed, i loved you. yet somehow, terrified and afraid I let you go.