Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Romance

Chapter 26
Chris was on his way to class when he spotted Sarah siting cross-legged at one of the school benches. She looked a daze, silently staring into the distance. He walked up to her and occupied the seat next to her. 
Sarah turned to acknowledge Chris, smiling at him. Her smile dropped a little when he didn't smile back, instead opting to imitate her earlier gesture of staring ahead. Sarah ended up adjusting her posture by straightening her back. 
“Something on your mind?” Chris asked. 
Sarah tilted her head a little in his direction, saying, “I was just rethinking my life.” 
“How's it going so far?” Chris asked, still not looking at her. 
Sarah was full on staring at Chris now. The seriousness in his tone foreign to her. She reckoned he must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, his attitude so obviously cranky. 
"Are you okay, Chris?" Sarah asked. 
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a rough night." Chris brushed her off with a wave of his hand before leaning forward, interlocking his fingers and placing them in between his opened legs. 
"So, tell me why would you need to rethink your life?" Chris asked again. 
Sarah bit back whatever concern she had for him and answered, “I've been thinking...... " Her words trailed off and she looked up at Chris, almost startling herself when her eyes met with his fixated gaze on her, prompting her to carry on. If Sarah hadn't known Chris for so long, she would have mistaken his gaze to be one of impatience. 
She swallowed once before breaking away from his gaze, continuing, "...... I just feel as though I’ve been lying to myself all this while.”
Sarah was waiting for Chris to make fun of her or crack a joke like he always does in tense and awkward situations, so don't blame her when her jaw almost dropped in surprise to see the boy besides her sigh loudly, before bringing one hand up to his hair. His long and slender fingers combed through his ridiculously attractive hair, lifting his bangs and Sarah almost licked her lips at the delicious sight of how his bangs naturally fell back down on his forehead, almost too perfectly. 
"I feel the same." Chris said, after a long pause of silence. 
And Sarah broke out of her trance. She was unconsciously staring at Chris. She dared not think for how long she's been at it, if Chris had noticed he didn't say anything. Just thinking about her actions made her feel extremely guilty. She was trying to abandon her feelings for him and here she is ogling at him so openly in public. What happened to staying platonic?
After finally regaining her strength to talk, she managed to voice out, "You feel the same, how so? "
With what little information they had exchanged among each other, Sarah was positively sure that while they might have a mutual agreement, they are certainly not on the same page. If Chris truly understood what her dilemma was, she was sure he wouldn't have been able to seat so comfortably next to her, as though it is the most natural thing to do. 
Chris grew silent as he drifted into deep though and Sarah swore even the way his brows dip when he is focusing on something will one day be the death of her. 
"...... I crafted a perfect lie just to protect the pitifully weak me that is so afraid to face the truth." 
Chris said in the most saddening tone, wearing the most wreaked expression that Sarah could almost feel his pain. 
Not knowing how to respond to Chris's sudden declaration, she ended up laughing it off, saying, “That’s so not like you to think of something so depressing.” 
Chris finally broke into a smile, looking back at her, he said, "You're right." 
Even he knows he was acting out of character. And being one heck of a downer was seriously not his style. 
He stood up unexpectedly, startling Sarah. She looked up at him. 
"You think so too, right?" Chris suddenly asked, a smirk forming on his face, he was looking at her sideways. 
"I'm sorry, what?" Sarah didn't understand but the look displayed on his face made her guilt trip once again, she gulped nervously. 
"That I need a haircut and a dye." Chris pointed to his hair. 
And Sarah wanted to hurl something, anything at him. She could feel her face burn up in embaressnment. He had clearly caught her staring just earlier and was now being very smug about it. 
"I-I" Sarah had wanted to defend herself when Chris cut her off. 
"I know that I'm drop dead gorgeous but instead of staring at me you should be staring at the books, wouldn't want you putting my name down as the answers during the exams." 
Sarah resisted every urge in her body screaming at her to just smack that smug grin off of Chris's ridiculously good looking face. However, knowing that if she did just that, it would just prove him right, hence she clenched her fist and bit back, "Thanks for your concern but you should be worrying for yourself instead." 
“You know I’ll do just fine.” Chris assured her, the ever confident tone in his voice almost had her believing that he has already passed the exams before it even started. 
“I wish I had your confidence.” Sarah admitted under her breath softly. 
Chris must have not heard her because he cocked an eyebrow, asking, "Huh? What did you say?" 
"I said I should get going. Classes start in 15." Sarah said standing up. She bid him farewell and they parted ways. 
When Chris entered the classroom he noticed Eric, boring his eyes into a book. The class hasn’t even started and Eric was already studying.
“If you study this hard, your head might fall off.” Chris jokingly said as he let his bag slid off his shoulder and down onto the chair before taking a seat himself. 
Eric closed the book and massaged his right temple with his thumb. “You know, I actually don’t disagree with you on that.” he said, yawning into his left hand. 
“I wish seeing you study this hard could get me motivated but I would hate to be that stressed.” Chris said, looking at his friend pitifully. 
Humouring Chris, Eric snorted, expressing, “I wish I seeing you this laid back could motivate me to be as chilled as you.” 
Chris slumped on his back. “Trust me, you wouldn’t want to be me.” 
Reopening the book, Eric resumed studying. 
“Likewise.” He said. 
                    XXXXXXXXXX
As much as Chris wished time would fly, it didn't. In fact, it crawled. Time was going by so slow Chris felt like dying. He wanted so badly to see Bea, he felt as though his body was going through withdrawal symptoms just by not seeing her. 
At one point, Eric even glared at him for shaking his legs so violently in impatience that it shook the table, affecting Eric. Chris shot him an apologetic smile before burying his face into the opened book on the table,  groaning. 
When the last bell rang, Chris dashed out of the classroom as though his life depended on it, arriving at the library in record speed. He was sure if anyone had caught him that much in a hurry to the library, they would think that he had taken the wrong medicine or accidentally fell and hit his head. Which hypothetically isn't wrong, he definitely  caught a disease called love and fell head over heels in love.  
Chris took a brief glance at the library  and when he didn’t see Bea at any of the seats, he roamed the shelves, even going as far back as to check the last row, but much to his surprise, she wasn't there. 
Chris sat on the ground where Bea usually sat. He pouted, disappointment seeping through him. Side effect of having expectations. Ever since he dropped her off at her apartment he hasn't stopped thinking about her.
It’s not like they made a promise to meet, what was he thinking? That she would always be at the library? Of cause she wouldn't. Still, Chris can't help but feel down. 
“You’re sitting at my place.” 
Chris's head sprung up to see Bea towering over him. He immediately stood up, his back almost bumping into the shelf behind him. 
“I-I wasn’t waiting for you or anything.” Chris said as he very awkwardly reached out to randomly grab a book from the shelves. 
Bea giggled before saying, “I didn’t ask.” 
And Chris wanted to bang his head against the wall and just die. He looked totally uncool trying to deny the obvious, he has had better days. 
Chris looked everywhere but at the girl, who he was pretty sure was staring at him. When nothing happens, and silence ensued for a little too long, Chris asked nervously, “W-What?” 
“You’re in the way.” Bea flicked her hand. 
Chris stepped aside for her as she reached to put a book that Chris hadn't notice was in her hand all along back into the shelve amongst others. 
After the deed was done, Chris assumed that she would sit on the floor, except she didn’t, opting to walk out of the shelves and pulling a chair out from underneath the table before sitting down on it, something Chris has never seen her done before as whenever they meet, she would always be on the ground. 
"What are you doing?" Bea asked. Seeing that Chris was spacing out. 
Chis scrambled to pull the chair besides her and sat himself down. 
Grabbing a piece of folded A4 paper and pencil from her pocket, Bea unfolded the paper and started sketching. 
Bea was definitely talented in art. In just a few minutes, she had sketched a car and a girl sitting at the back seat, looking out from the rear windshield. The next she drew were buildings made out of glass. The interesting thing about her sketch was that the buildings were half submerged underwater.
After she had deemed her drawing completed, she put down the pencil, lifted the paper parallel to her eye level and admired her creation in glee. 
She smiled at Chris for a brief second before looking back at her sketch, saying, “I had a dream last night. I was on a car and I passed this beautiful city but most of the buildings were underwater.” She started explaining her sketch. 
"You're an amazing artist. The sketch is breathtaking." Compliments spilled out of Chris's mouth. 
He didn't let the way Bea's cheeks dusted pink at his praise slip. Her reaction was way too cute, it almost made Chris's heart burst with pride that he was the one that managed to make her smile. He almost let the thousand other praises he could think of that he knows Bea rightfully deserves slip from his mouth if not for her speaking, breaking his chain of thoughts. 
“I just felt like drawing it down before I forget. One day I might be able to write a full story just from my dreams alone.”
“I would read it if you do.” Chris supported her aspirations. Heck, he was so in love, she could say that she wants to conquer the world and he'll gladly stand in the front lines of a war for her.
Chris observed her sketch more closely than before. He noticed that the car in which Bea was in was drawn in a way which the front of the car was not in view. 
"Who is driving the car?" Chris wondered out loud. 
"My parents." Bea replied. 
"You truly have an imaginative mind." Chris complimented. He wished his dreams could be this peaceful. Instead his keeps him awake and drains his very soul, leaving him in a very distasteful state. 
"They say dreams are like a fragment of our memories. Sometimes, the past likes to revive itself in the form of a dream, with a bit of its own twist." Bea said and Chris thinks she might just be able to read his mind. 
"What kind of twist?" Chris asked interestingly. 
"Like for instance," pointing at the the girl in the car, Bea brought her sketch to Chris's attention before continuing, "In my dream, my father was driving and my mother was seated in the passenger seat while we were going on a vacation like how I've always remembered it to be. Even the car is the same as the one my father used to own." 
Bea then dragged her finger to point at the submerged glass buildings, continuing, "The twist is that these buildings definitely doesn't exist in reality, my mind had made them up."
Chris nodded in agreement, he couldn't agree more with her explanation. In his case, the twist in his dreams would be that his physical body is present in the very dream itself, as weird as it sounds. 
"Fragments of our memories......" Chris repeated softly in awe, the mind really does work wonders. 
"Ring a bell?" Bea asked and Chris looked up to meet her eyes. 
Unlike in Sarah's presence, he hadn't notice that Bea had been staring at him, having been so lost in his thoughts. 
"Yeah. Recently, the dreams I've been having are like reenactments of the past." Chris told her. 
"What are your dreams like? Maybe I can help you dissect them." Bea offered. Her eyes sparkling with excitement. 
Chris was slightly taken aback. He did not expect Bea to suddenly take an interest in his dreams. He hadn't plan to tell anyone but he guessed that if it is Bea, he just might be able to tell her. Ever since the start, Bea has been nothing but understanding. 
Chris cleared his throat before saying,  "There are more like nightmares." he paused to observe Bea's reaction, her smile has faded a little and she was waiting for him to elaborate. 
To be honest, Chris himself doesn't know what to say, how to word the exact things that has been going through his mind in these past few days. He contemplated before saying, "I saw my father, my mother and a younger version of myself." 
Chris continued, "The past is painful and I do my best to not let it affect me, I was getting by just fine until my father reappeared and I don't know what to think anymore. The past that I had so badly tried to put away keeps coming back to haunt me." 
Chris had no idea if Bea understood his string of words because he himself wasn't sure if he understood himself. It probably made no sense to her. 
Bea had closed her eyes to take in the information she has been relied upon and when she reopened them, Chris wanted to get lost in those eyes that were looking back in his so intensely. 
"When I lost my parents, I had a hard time coming to terms with their deaths. It hurt so bad, the crippling sense of loneliness was unforgiving. However, when the initial phase of shock and grief passed, can you guess what emotion I was left with?" Bea asked.
Chris thought hard. He knew that Bea wouldn't tell him her side of the story if it was not related to his. So, he tried to connect the dotes. 
Chris thought back to when his father suddenly up and left, as a young boy he was initially sad and confused and eventually the feeling of grief subsided and was replaced with...... 
"...... Anger?" Chris voiced out, uncertain with his answer. 
Bea smiled and Chris knew that he was right. 
"I was left with anger. I was angry at my parents." She said. 
"You were angry at them?" Chris asked, shocked that she went through the exact emotions he was currently going through. 
Bea nodded. "Yeah, mad to be exact. I blamed them for everything. For the loneliness, the sleepless nights, the lost of appetite, the tears."
Chris hesitated before asking, "Did you forgive them?" 
"Yeah." 
"Why?" Chris asked, sounding almost desperate. 
Bea hummed before saying, "Because no amount of tears and anger can bring back the dead." 
To say Chris wasn't the least bit surprised with her answer would be a lie. He let himself smile, finally feeling somewhat at ease. 
Since this morning, after the dream he had, he thought long and hard, and has came to a conclusion that he was going to let his father back into his life. Sure, he is still angry at him and wants nothing to do with him but a part of him wants him back in his life as well, especially after seeing that the man himself seemingly wants to amend things. Chris told himself that while he will probably never be able to forget the horrible past, he will give his father a chance, he'll try to accept and forgive the supposedly changed person, if not for his father, for himself, his very own sanity. 
Just the thought of letting in a person who was supposedly supposed to be a huge pillar of support and someone who he could look up to, instead said person has never ever been there for him all his life was scary and a heavy decision for a 16 year old to make, but after talking to Bea, Chris felt more sure of his decision. 
Pushing the unsettling feeling he has been feeling down to a point of almost non-existence, Chris let himself get lost in the peaceful expression Bea had on her face as she went back to touching up her sketch. Adding a few strokes here and there, smiling to herself in the process. Chris encouraged himself that he'll be fine, to not think too much and trust in Bea's words. Even though Bea hadn't exactly expressly said so, he knows that that was what she had meant. That he wasn't alone. To look past the anger and not let it cloud his judgement. 
Chris watched amusingly as Bea suddenly went into deep thought, her brows lowering as she worried her lower lip, before snapping her fingers in sudden realisation. She sprung to Chris's direction so suddenly, saying, “I remember when I was small enough to lie in the backseat of a car and my parents would have on the sweetest smile.” Bea laughed at the recollection. 
Cue Chris's heart to do a somersault in his chest, finding Bea simply endearing. Dear lord above help him, he feels himself falling helplessly in love again. 
“You must miss them.” Chris stated. 
“Dearly. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of them.” Bea said with the brightest smile on her face that could rival the sun itself. 
                       XXXXXXXXXX
Chris and Bea were both on their way to work when they passed a convenience store and Chris stopped to enter.
Chris looked around the store. His eyes landing on the different brands of sweets laid out on the counter. Opting to pay for a bag that has a variety of different flavours, he then squashed his purchase into his sling bag and re-joined Bea who was observing a bunch of kids playing ball outside. 
The moment Chris entered the store, a book came flying in his direction. Chris swiftly dodged it. Turning around to pick up the book that had once again missed its target and fallen on the floor.
Walking up to Alex, he squatted down in front of the kid. Looking up at the boy and holding the book out to him, waving it slightly, he smugly asked, “Did you really think I was going to fall for the same trick twice?” 
Alex grumbled cutely and snatched the book back. 
Chris pulled out the bag of sweets from his bag, saying, “Here’s my end of our deal.” 
Alex’s eyes lit up at the sight of treats. He grabbed it from Chris and opened it. 
“With this we’re even.” Chris said but Alex wasn’t listening. Instead he took out exactly 4 sweets and tucked it into his pocket.
Proceeding to raise the bag of sweets in the air, Alex shouted, “Guys! Look what I got!” 
The moment the other children saw the sweets, they flooding him. Chris blinked in astonishment as Alex started sharing with everyone. 
“He’s so sweet.” Bea walked up to Chris, knudging his arm with her elbow.
“Yeah.” Chris agreed. 
The day flew by with Chris constantly being harassed by the children. He was being ordered around like a slave. One moment he had to tell them stories, the next he had to carry them, play house, and do all sorts of embarrassing things that Chris never in his life thought he would have to. 
Chris looked over at Bea, who was failing terribly at hiding her laughter. She wasn't even trying. Chris actually thought that If this was what it took to make her smile, the suffering was worth it. Yep, he was blinded by love or whatever you want to call it. 
“Seriously, do they think I’m a plaything?” Chris asked Bea as they waited outside for the children's parents. Sure, he didn't mind the suffering but it doesn't mean he wasn't going to complain about it. 
“Ever since you came, they’ve been having so much fun.” Bea indirectly praised him.
“Thank You!” One little girl said, waving to Chris in particular before running to her mother’s side.
“…...You’re welcome.” Chris felt contentment at its finest. He looked at Bea, who was giving him that 'I told you' look, having just proven her point. 
As usual, Alex's guardian was the last to pick him. When Bea escorted him out of the gates to his mother's side, instead of boarding the vehicle, he ran back to the gates. Chris was certainly surprised when Alex ran up to him, stopping in front of him and looking up at him expectantly. 
“What’s up, lil dude?” Chris asked, squatting to accustom to the boy’s height.
Chris watched as the boy’s small hand reached into his pocket and withdrew a sweet he had earlier stuffed into his pocket. Chris stared wide eyed as Alex proceeded to place the sweet into his palm. Chris stared at the sweet in his hand, dumbfounded. 
“It was delicious.” Alex told him.
Alex didn't wait for Chris to reel himself back from shock before running over to Bea and passing one to her as well. 
"You know you could have just said thank you?" Chris teased him. 
“Alien.” Alex stuck his tongue out before running to his mother’s side, boarding the car. 
Chris couldn’t help but smile even though he knew he was just insulted.
Through the car window, Chris observed as Alex took out the remaining two left from his pocket and passed one to his mother and father each. 
“Oh no.” 
Chris and Bea heard Mrs. Helda before turning to see her walking out of the house to join them.
“I’m not going to give you a raise just because you have won over the kids.” Mrs. Helda told Chris, crossing her arms. 
“I want one though.” Chris requested, smiled innocently.
“You’re 200 hundred years too early to be asking for one!” Miss Helda lectured and Chris earned himself a slap to his back. 
Mrs. Helda invited them to stay for dinner and Chris could never decline food, especially a home cooked one. 
Over food, Mrs. Helda ended up sharing her business experience and the future prospect of the store with them.
“I know of an author that lives in another town and I'm supposed to collect copies of her new release but I won’t be able to go because I have to take care of the store. Would the two of you go in my stead?” Mrs. Helda asked of them. 
Bea’s face instantly lit up. “I’ll go!” She agreed with no objections, shooting her hands up in excitement. 
Mrs. Helda looked at Chris for his answer.
“No problem on my end.” 
“Perfect!” Mrs. Helda exclaimed, handing them the address scribbled on a piece of sticky note. 


All Rights Reserved @ 2018 by Anne Teng 
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