Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Spirituality

I will never take for granted how it feels to wake up just glad to be alive nothing else. When you truly know that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach at the dreadful prospect of another day. This is a terrible way to be and although nearly forty years past me those days serve to remind me that life is a precious gift.
It can be taken in the blink of an eye, or a slow painful process but we don't know till we get there.
My mind has been consumed by the thoughts of others recently. A true friend is the one's you know so well you read eachother's actions. Having been unwell recently, he took a long while to answer his phone, I knew before he did answer that thing's were no better for him at this moment.
Yet his concerns were about me, as if to say my health is old news, tell me some good news, so we then talk like two Irishmen in overalls. Chainsaws, drills, jackhammers, anything with an engine is great news to talk about, it brings Irishmen back to life. From being half dead in an awl armchair five mins earlier, now the talk of machines, great awl engines, it's better than all the awl shite the doctors have to percribe to him.
Then I received the call to say of another to be unwell, this time it's different from my close friend who had no choice in his condition.
It takes a lot to understand the nature of one who brings their own self into a hell of their own making, because they are unwell in body and mind. You can only hope they will at some point before it's too late that they will stop blaming everything else and surrender to the full nature of the malady they are in.
You cannot be guided by another to a safer place till you surrender to your own destructive nature or it will take all you can imagine, and more.
I laughed at that call when it came in as I did not believe it at first but when the thoughts matched up how sad this is, but the blind will suffer till they become ready to see. If you need the way out of your predicament seek out the big man, the famous boxer, you know who I mean. He is a friend of mine who does a similar thing to me. He is full time commitment to the helping of others and a true servant of God and man, but you will leave the bullshite outside the door with this one. The choice is yours but this will not leave you till you seek the help you need.
I belong to no groups or association's, I was once part of a two man team who carried out difficult work in UK prisons. All I can say is, some men are granted life to use it to help others when we should have been buried in the ground a long time ago. I have no plans to write my own story, but if ever I did it would overshadow anything else and to go through it still breaks me down to my knees, and tears from the heart, that a world can be so desperately cruel, but I have learned through this that miracles can happen for all and any who reach out and ask for help. I know anything I know from personal living experiences, even when writing you can use words that may help others.
Then there are others who know only to mock, sneer, and hate, they are to be pitied you will never stop me doing the work I try to do, I will never stop trying and although I never ask for reward, I quietly enjoy the rewards given.
Like this early Sunday morning lying peaceful as the light comes up and the birds are singing, Trampus and Buddy the little puppy playing for my attention not a care in the world. It is called peace of mind and why it means so much to a man like me, I fought the mother of all battles to get it, no way will I loose this for want of trying.