Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I once loved a man who broke my heart to pieces, I thought of us to walking along the beaches, but then something turnt and I felt so burnt, when I think of him I cry, but then I wonder why.
Why cry over someone who wanted me to die, and someone who laughed when i tried to commit suicide, for him.
He is nothing but a boy trapped inside of a mans body, and he tried to take control of somebody.
Hew was my first, but we broke and i burst, into tears of fire, for the love i desired was gone.
He said we were done. He said no more playing games or having fun he was done but in my eyes, i was looking foward to having a son with the one i loved, but how is there to love someone if they dont love you back.
"Someone thats that jacked needs help in a quick flash" people told me,"stop worrying about that jack, give yourself a pat on the back for making it through", but i cant find the screw that fell loose in my head that made me forget what happened to my mom and step dad.
Then i snapped into realization, and was put on medication, for the trauma i had just endured was enough.
He didnt understand the word no, but i let it go because i was raised to give a man what he wants, so i took the pain and did what i was taught, and ignored it.
I went through the same with my ex as my mother did with hers.
The manipulation and abuse ha me at the worst, with my left arm out an the razor blade in my right, i cut down, but now i vow to never let a man take control of my life again