Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

DRESSING

Dressing was never a problem in my day. We always knew just how to dress or would ask before going to an event. I grew up in Southern New Jersey in the 1940's and 1950's.

Going to school, girls were not allowed to wear any pants. Unless you count the leggings with straps we had to wear when snow or very cold came. Trying to get our dresses with big bows in the back tucked into the leggings was a feat. Each year just before school started we would get a big box delivered from Sears. In it would be five dresses for each of us girls, if needed. We didn't have our brother until I was 15, and times were a changing. After the box arrived, we would go to the nearest shoe store and get a new pair of shoes to start school. They were always fitted perfectly to our feet. I loved the saddle shoes and mine had to be black and white.

Since our facilities for all of my elementary school years was an outhouse, clothes were often a problem.  It was a cold run to the building; we were wearing leggings and heavy coat, mittens and maybe a hat. The outhouse is another story I told in poetry but it was a struggle at the least.

At Easter time we each got a new Sunday outfit, not to be confused with school clothes which were plainer in design and materials.  I remember one special one I inherited that was silky and rustled when you walked. It was black with polka dots. Often taffeta was our Sunday dress. Once my sister and I had matching dresses in taffeta with hers being pink and mine light blue. Probably first time I ever wore anything black and was probably ten or so.  Mom or my grandmother made some of them or they were bought or often hand-me-downs. That is when we got our Sunday shoes which often were patent leather Mary Jane's. So we got 2 pair of shoes a year. Good thing we didn't get too many clothes as we didn't have any closets and hung our clothes on a nail in the bedroom we all shared.

Speaking of hand-me-downs we had a lot of them.  Not just to each other in the family but from the neighborhood children as well. I guess you could call it a clothing swap.  We would be lucky to get a pair of dungarees which were part of our play clothes we wore each day after school and on weekends, except church time.  Sometimes our old school shoes or some last year's school clothes became our play clothes. You might find some of us upside down on the bars on the sides of the swings in our dresses.

As a teenager, I was lucky to have a neighbor young lady who was working and could buy really good quality clothes that could fit me.  I was excited to see her bag come into the house and can still remember some of the clothes she handed down to me. 

Wash was done often as I remember having only one pair of jeans to wear.  And with a family you know there is always a load of clothes you can do every day.

When I was about 12-15, I was getting a little daring for the times. My favorite top was bright red with spaghetti straps. Of course, we never went without a bra at that age and so straps showed but didn't bother us.  It was not a school or church top and only worn in the summer. 

A fad at that age was sheer blouses and were considered very daring. I had different colored ones; pink, white and a black one. Not sure how I got them but I do remember them, probably hand-me-downs because I can't imagine my mother buying them for me.  We always had a slip under any dress or blouse, and it would show through the sheer blouses. We often wore a button-up sweater unbuttoned over the blouse with not too much of a gap. Girls said that other girls wore them without underwear and opened the sweaters for boys to catch a quick glimpse. I never knew anyone that did that and probably just a rumor or a hussy or two as we called them. We wore lace or crocheted collars that buttoned on over plain sweaters to dress them up. I don't remember having any jewelry until late teens.

Another fad was kind of silly. We wore a button-up sweater on backwards. Sure hard to get buttoned up. I usually buttoned it up, leaving just enough room to get over my head and then reached back to finish the buttons. It couldn't have been comfortable but teens will do anything fashionable. I also wore a strap buckled around my ankle like a tiny dog collar and hence its name.  Left leg meant you were taken and right leg meant you were looking. Sadly, I never had a poodle skirt.

Boys were also dressed for school with slacks and shirts and no dungarees. I didn't pay much attention to boys clothes until I met my husband to be when I was 16. Prom outfits were always formal for both boy and girl. All the girls got excited over their gowns and boys tried to match colors with shirts and ties. None were sexy or would be considered in bad taste. I wore the same prom gown to two proms in different schools. It was one my mother found on a store window model that was marked down and nicer than we could afford at full price. Mine was strapless but showed no cleavage. It was pale blue satin with a blue netting over top with sparkles on the netting. The top was gathered ruffles of the netting. I was lucky to get this one. I guess it was considered a little daring as brides could not wear a dress without shoulders or even sleeves and no cleavage. I had clear plastic not too high heels like Cinderella glass slippers. Some years later Mom made gowns for other girl's proms.

We played ball, jumped rope, rode our bikes in dresses. Not much stopped us.  No one picked on anyone's clothes because we all wore the kind that was expected, and I lived where most people were of the same financial group.  Dirty was another story. We had one family in school that was quite dirty and it wasn't left unnoticed but not ridiculed. Only two people I remember that had problems with ridicule. One was a girl who was quite heavy compared to all of the other kids. People did tease her some or feel sorry for her. I met her at an event many years later and she had slimmed down and was a beautiful lady. I couldn't help thinking “They should see her now.” The other was a boy whose parents owned a pig farm.  I don't remember any problems with his dress or cleanliness but people must have taunted him as he took his own life and was found in a car when he was still in high school.

And to go for a job interview appropriate attire was required even if you were applying for a trash pick up person. If you don't look successful, you won't be successful we were told.

When wedding time came, they were traditional.  A bride earned the right to wear a white dress and a veil over her face, and the wedding was always in a church. The male being in tuxedo or dressed up suit.  White signified a virgin. If not a virgin you were probably sent off to a relative far away until after the baby was born or sent away to another state to get married.

Clothes have exploded today.  You never know what to wear to any event as people wear whatever they want. And that is everything and anything. A fortune is spent on clothes to impress others. Often what is worn does not give me the impression they are looking for. I can't understand tattoos. I know people think they are art but I guess not my kind of art. That is another whole story I won't dwell on here. Too sexy is more unattractive to me than not sexy at all is boring.  Why would I want to eat something that has already been shoved down my throat?  Sometimes clothes are indecent with exposed body parts with holes to show off their tats.  Many clothes people wear look uncomfortable to me. You don't want to talk about what some people wear to the store these days. We dressed for the city in dresses, hats and white gloves to go shopping as not many stores nearby.

I was expected to wear heels, hat and white gloves to work in an office. No sexy clothes, none with holes in them and ragged spots. No pants. Be a lady. Remember, if you want to be successful, you have to dress for success.  

But the heels they wear today are often more like stilts or shoes that flip flop. The clothes so short they are constantly holding the skirts down or showing off especially when they sit. Some clothes are so tight that they sure aren't sexy showing off all your rolls and bumps. You can hardly walk, bend, sit or stand and can't lift your arms. I laugh to think of a room full of young people half dressed people drinking and dancing too much to see how they look. Why be so uncomfortable, especially when it is so unattractive. I was very thin as a teen and young girl. They didn't even make skirts thin enough for me with my 21 inch waist, and I held them up with elastic belts with fancy buckles. The smallest size was 7 for teen girls. Almost everyone was thin and still we didn't wear clothes as tight as today. Probably would have showed off our ribs instead of all the fat we see today, me included. But we were taught to respect ourselves so others could.

My husband, Bob, always wears western clothes. I met him because he was wearing a cowboy hat in a dance when I was 17. I asked him to dance on a ladies choice as I wanted to find out why he wore a hat in a building (not common in those days). Of course, he is a handsome hunk and that didn't hurt anything either. He told me his friends would stomp on it if  he left it anywhere. LOL He has had a lot of young people chide him with "Yee-haw" calls and stuff but also many compliments. He was my Marlboro Man but so glad he stopped smoking around age 30.

When we got married He came with all western clothes including hats and boots and about 8 western shirts all pink. (Pink and black were common then for men). He was only 18 but had to buy all his own clothes and he worked on a ranch, farm or construction between going to school so he was able. He got a taste of the hard life at the ranch and farms nearby. It is more fun to just wear the clothes than be a cowboy.

When our children came along they got cowboy hats and western stuff for Christmas. It followed with the grandchildren. Bob had to buy his two grandsons (don't have granddaughters) boots when they were like 3 years old. I know one of them still has his first pair and he is 19 now.

None of the family members went all out for western clothes like Bob. He is near 80 now and still wearing them. Of course we love country music. I love to watch western movies with the beautiful scenery and interesting clothes. The good guys always win with the white hats. Today white goes for summer and black for winter although we live in Florida now and it doesn't seem to matter.

It is more common to see people wearing cowboy hats and boots here in Florida. We live near Ocala and horse country. It seems that lime that is abundant in water here in Florida and raises the best horses. Many have headed to Kentucky and won big awards. I still get a warm memory feeling when I see a young couple together maybe on a date and he is in boots and hat. I always felt special walking beside my cowboy.

Every time we got together with one of the grandsons they immediately went for Grandpa's boots. They put them on as big as the boots were and and clomped all around with big smiles on their faces. Sometimes it was hard to get them off of them. It was always a fun time.

Grandpa would put his hats on each of them. When they were not walking yet they would pull them right off and on they would go again and off and on with everyone laughing. Of course Grandpa got them their own hat eventually. Maybe one of them was a bit young to get one yet as he used it for a place to pee, and so that hat went the way of the trash but the memory remains. Maybe they should have made it a toilet seat to train him.

We have so many cute pictures with the children in their western boots and hats. Even though none wear them now regularly. I've at least seen one son grown up wear them to a few country western events.

Grandpa had the opportunity to take both his grandsons to see horses at a friend's ranch. They got to ride them with Grandpa when they were young and could even stand under a horse. Of course they had their boots and hats on for the occasion.

Once we were in a grocery store line waiting to check our groceries. A lady with a boy about 4 years old saw Bob and told his mother "There is Woody." His mom smiled but Bob took the opportunity to entertain the little boy surely bored standing in line. "Yea, how ya doin' little fella", Bob said. The boy was so excited and Bob and he conversed back and forth like he was the "Real Woody." It was fun for all around to see and the mom was grateful for the entertainment for her son.

I still think my cowboy is handsome in his western wear and everywhere we go if he doesn't have a hat on people ask, Where is your hat?" or "I didn't recognize you without the hat." I could always find him in a crowd with his hat and hear him coming with his boots. Even when I was in the hospital having a child I could hear him turn the corners and come down the hall to my room. He doesn't wear his hat to church often now as he says, "There is no place to put them." By the way he certainly isn't bald from wearing a hat a lot. He has hair any man would envy.

These days I'm comfortable with my not too tight pants, roomy shirts and low heels.  I'm glad for the chance to dress how I feel.  However, sometimes I wish I knew what to wear at some events. Now doesn't a choir look nicer when they are all wearing their robes together?  

Some people think nudity is comfortable. I get pinched when I'm not wearing clothes. I sure can't lean on anything. Isn't it easier to get burnt, sunning or scalding yourself when nude?  Do I really want everyone to see how I've treated my body.  What if I forgot my towel, how will I sit anywhere? I'm not a bear with a furry cover to protect me. What about the cold?  In your own home, go for it but that's it.

For my clothes I want comfort, casual or dressy; but I want to know the difference. Life is full of little things and these are what we often remember the most. 

© Copyright by Jean E. Gorney 2018.06.28

P.S. I appreciate anybody sending me any typos they see as I hope to make these memories into a book for my children. Thanks for reading my story.