Category : Stories

Sub Category : Romance

I guess to use the quote "Once In A Lifetime" isn't correct.  As you will read next, that "Once In A Lifetime" in my opinion has stages.  Three to be exact.  I think it is 100% the proper quote to begin with.
Once in a lifetime, if you happen to be one of the "Fortunate Ones", you meet your soul mate at an early stage of life.  Those teenage years.  Let me add more stress to that ever so drama filled portion of life.  This is stage one.  Now I'm talking 15-18 years old.  The possibility of a soul mate will never enter your mind.  We could never understand the depth of such a simple phrase. If fate, destiny or whatever you call it decides it is time, the wheel is already in motion.  And slow is the fastest speed fate has.  The plus side?  We are not even aware.
This person will not be a part of your crowd. A year or two age difference.  But you know them casually.  No emotional connection.   Besides at this age your perfect mate is your highschool sweetheart.  The FIRST LOVE.  You have your wedding planned, 2.5 kids in sight.  You life is planned and it will be perfect.  All by the age of 16.  Stage 2 has different plans
You have entered adulthood.  The twenties.  Becoming a spouse, parent and employee occupies every second of your life.  Highschool seems so long ago.  The " what was her name" and "what did they teach" saga begins.  For the most part we all married, well because everybody else was getting married.  Now mid 20s you both are secretly wishing you both are somebody else.  No one with a name.  Just not you or in my case him.  Not all marriages lean that way.  Some are truly in love and marriage is a good fit. Less and less it seems these days.  But they do exist.  FUCKIN OVER ACHIEVERS! lol.  Then the divorce.  Which I personally think causes people in their twenties to lose any ability to think or act rational.  I was one of them.  
Eventually the good old days run through your mind.  Memories come and go.   Then fate throws you a memory that makes you smile.   This person had no impact on you at all.  You think WTH???.  The seed is planted.  It could be a song you hear, a summer breeze and now you are thinking of a person from way back that was the casual friend.  Then maybe a memory of them.  They smiled and looked at you.  Why didnt I notice that in highschool??  Fate just keeps hacking away in the back of your mind.  The phrase soul mate is waiting in the wings.  Gotta warn you.  Stage 2 can take forever.   I mean, like DECADES..  It will endure marriage, divorce.  Sometimes more than once.  Probably the hardest times you will ever go through.  BY YOURSELF!  As tough as it can get, you wonder where this person is. Do they think about you too?  At this age for me, cell phones just came out.  This generation has Social Media.  We would be lucky if we found out if they were alive.  
STAGE 3 HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING
Middle age has just appeared out of thin air.  The mind is catching up with your age.  And being single???  Well that depends on how you handle it.  As as a bonus. .single parent too.  This is also the stage where you begin the journey of ruining your childs life.  They will remind you daily.  Well, I want my kid to fit in.  Soooo.  Its your fault no matter what.  The crown of thorns I chose to wear proudly.  That damn soul mate thing..  hmmm. It has now replaced the ENDLESS LOVE, worst break up, literally thought I was going to die without the highschool love of my life. I swore no one could ever replace. The broken piece of my heart that would never mend.   It was all gone.  I laughed at how stupid it all was.  The Happily NEVER EVER.   Finally I learn who I am. 
Fate has some requirements.  Drastic changes are a must.  How else could this journey happen?  It would just become a nothing special.  I'm the Queen of that.  So I quit that overpaid job and move back to California.  No job in sight. Living in a new town with friends.  I now check the "Ruined my sons life" off my bucket list.  One less thing.  Ya know?
In a town  300 miles from home and 30 years after highschool...I find out the SOULMATE lives in the same town. Fate TKOd my ass...Alas...hes married.. Fate steps in again.  I think just for fun at this point. Or maybe it was a push.  Maybe a neighbor knows both of you?  Then it happens.  2 years later.  And awkard to say the least.  But I knew from that moment..he felt the same.  Then NOTHING..  Now one of you has remarried, the other on the verge of divorce.  AHHH Fate and that sense of humor.  Run into each either again..with spouses in tow.  AKWARD.  Man, I will be in my 50s before we run into each other again.  Fate also requires PATIENCE.  Are you SERIOUS??
A few more years go by.  I want out of this sham of a marriage.  He is divorced I hear.  But no sign of him. Guess I was wrong.  Then a chance meeting.  Im to busy to chat.  He has new girlfriend with him.  Another AKWARD moment.  But something felt different.   Then it all comes together.   Literally for us..overnight.  
Teenagers in our 50s.  And??  Shit we are now in our mid 50s.  Perfect relationship?  Everything we imagined for all those years?  Far from it.  But if we hadn't gone through Stages 1 & 2.  We wouldn't be together.  We can bring out the best in each and the worst.  Opinionated, selfish at times, set in our own ways and harsh at times.  The best part.  You realize companionship, real love for this person.  Good or bad you can't imagine life without them.  Women seem to be the stronger personality..men are more rational.  YING TO YANG.  You finally admit it.  SOULMATE!
Very few couples have the honor to have found theirs.   Not that anybody has a mission to find one
Fate decided this decades ago.  Looking back on all the shit I endured, abuse I survived to end up right here, well it all makes perfect sense.  Personally I think FATE could have made it easier.  But that would just make this journey ordinary.  Anybody can achieve ordinary.   Once in a lifetime?  You can't top that!
Remember to always listen to that little voice in your head.  I believe that is Fate.  Never ever live with regrets.  If you don't try..how will you know.  Even a batter gets a walk every now and then.  But damn, when that ball comes flying across home plate right into your zone.  Its up to you to swing as precise and hard as you can.  Anything worth having isn't  always easy.   But where's the fun in that walk to first base? Batter up!